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God & Satan in a fight to the death over your good health

 
 
Reply Mon 9 Feb, 2004 10:09 am
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yes!," and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." They gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said "it is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" Satan said, "It is good." Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 571 • Replies: 2
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Equus
 
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Reply Mon 9 Feb, 2004 12:04 pm
Ha.

You know why Jesus was born in a manger?

--Because Mary belonged to an HMO.
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Individual
 
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Reply Mon 9 Feb, 2004 10:48 pm
Unfortunately true BBB.
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