@james8,
"I knew that if he
{who is he - the guard?} didn't see me, I
stood a good chance of escaping."
{Why is this sentence in quotes? Who is speaking this to whom?} That was the crucial moment. All
those bad moments passed through my
mind.
I still
remember when I arrived at this small but lovely village with all my desires
for doing my best to help. At the beginning, I was going to stay only three months to help inhabitants to reconstruct the county
{do you mean country here?} after the earthquake but finally I compromise
d more deeply in that isolated place. Everything was going
perfectly well so that both parties, the citizens and me, loved each
other {not others}.
Suddenly, things began to change
upon the arrival of that military group. They assure
d us protection against foreigners
as well as education and meal
s for all the children. Anything was
possible {better word choice than true}. They began to force us to work very
hard in their marihuana plantations, far greater than what seemed humanly possible. When I understood their whole plan, I invited them to leave;
however, at that point I was arrested and jailed.
After months of suffering, I found that night
time was my last and best opportunity to escape and
{eliminate phrase ‘of course’} to survive.
I planned all my movements carefully, having only brought with me a paper with my notes {map? ... or planned escape route?}.
At the point where I approached the last guard, beads of sweat
ran all over my face.
My plan to proceed was clear: walk carefully behind him without
making any noise
, but if he detected me, I would have to beat him.
I proceeded with the escape. Those nights in the jail preparing my strategy were worthwhile. The next step was clear - to release the village.
{What do you mean ‘release the village’? Do you mean you will free them from the military? You’ll need to explain more clearly as I can’t sort that out.}
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