Deleted messages

Is this his work or personal computer?

What "other" emails? from friends or customers or about work?

I think you have an overactive imagination based on low self esteem (Am I not good enough to keep)

personal computer abd yes emails from other friends he keeps maybe I do but his past is sketchy when it comes to emialing other women

Your self esteem seems near zero and you are looking for reasons to confirm that he does not wish to be in a relationship with you or at least does not value the relationship from how he clean up his email messages to when he look at porn.

The conclusion I had come up with after seeing this second thread is the problem is not with your boyfriend or with your relationship with him but your lack of self esteem that you need to get help concerning before this or any other future relationship is going to work out for you.

Did you just see his inbox? Maybe he moved your messages to a special folder. Anyhow, it's bad manners to snoop at his email, and you should not have done it. Misplaced jealousy and being nosy is a good way to drive someone away.

your very correct in what you say as he has made me lose all my self esteem due to his lying all the time and drinking issue sin the past thanks for opening up my eyes

no he didnt have them in a special folder only the ones he kept from other people..anyway I know what to do now so thank-you for you replies

As a non-profession I question if you can lay all your lack of self esteem at his doorsteps.

It likely to go far deeper then one boyfriend and you should seek out counseling to better understand this problem and how to address it.

Define, fine...

If you accept all that he does, and don't question it, or else he'll flip out and you accept his actions and re-actions from drinking, and that makes you feel down and out, worried about other women, taking the self esteme issues out of it, don't you deserve better?

Fine wouldn't be good enough for me, and shouldn't be to you especially his manipulating ways of making you feel un-loved or not "sexy" enough, in my opinion deliberately, so that you stay, or because he doesn't give a toss, he'll do what he wants anyway.

Why don't you just ask him why he deleted your emails?

There's plenty of good reasons I can think of that may (or may not) exist :
- the sheer volume of emails may be enormous
- he may see you so often that they don't have extra meaning beyond any other verbal conversation you have with him
- the nature of them may not require keeping
- he may reply to yours straight away (so he doesn't then need to keep them), but may not reply straight away to others
- other emails may have jokes in them, or funny cartoons etc, that are good for forwarding on

Btw - I don't hold with anyone that suggests 'you should close your eyes when he opens his email in front of you'...that's just ridiculously PC to my way of thinking.

As for him constantly lying to you etc - and your self esteem falling drastically (over a long period) with him - that is ALWAYS a good sign that YOU should leave him. Whatever happiness you have with him - your overall happiness diminishes at the same rate that your self esteem diminishes. You should never punish your life this way over a long period of time.

As a further note on that - Billrm also has it right that you should also start learning about what self-esteem is, and how you build it.

Thanks again for all the replies..I need to take care of myself and youre right he makes me feel lonely and sad most of the time

He sends you a nice email every day?

That cold-hearted bastard!

He make you sad and lonely?

Sorry until you take responsibility for your own feelings and happiness and stop blaming someone else if you are not happy you will never solve your problems.

LOL yes he is as actually..he used to send them all the time before then I found out he was emailing an ex at the same time..yeah he is a cold hearted person and a manipulator

Ouch. Sorry.

Dear helpplease 4379! I think that in this world should be all in proportion! You do too!