Revise This Please

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(The following is written by an English learner in China. It is somewhat long, so for your convenience, please just choose some paragraphs to revise)

Why have I copied Chinese news in English into the forum (not referred to A2K)? I have a point to make.

Years ago, I was sagely advised by a great scholar that english learners should totally discard Chinglish such as we often read in China Daily. I thought it was a great recommendation and therefore was highly grateful to God for being given such a good guiding line and to the scholar who wisely guided me to bypass hidden obstacles in English learning.

For a long time I concentrated on English reading materials by native authors. I have been avidly reading books and magazines by native authors. But I have run into a big problem. As I am now and then supposed to convert something into English, I run serious problems more often than not. For example, tons of Chinese expressions. I can't find them in my readings in English. The only way to get myself familiarized with Chinese things in English is books and newspapers translated and/or authored by Chinese great scholars.

Since I noticed the defects in my learning design, I have tried hard to amend my learning system and tried hard to read up translated versions done by Chinese scholars. This practice has been very helpful. I believe that China Daily is a must for Chinese like me who need updated information on special terms. As more and more websites have English versions, I have a golden chance to read Chinese-flavored English. I have got a chance to say Chinese things in an English way acceptable to educated foreigners. I have been learning from these newspapers and websites.

I don't mean there is no difference between the way native English writers commit their thoughts and observations to paper and the way Chinese counterparts do the same. The difference is huge. All Chinese seeking to express ideas brilliantly in English must study the way native authors and speakers use the English in the native way. Meanwhile, Chinese English speakers and translators must find original ways to express unique Chinese ideas in English. It seems to me that translators and scholars working for these newspapers and websites such as China Daily, People's Daily are doing a nice job, generally speaking in terms of language. It seems to me that I should learn to express ideas characteristic of Chinese style in English. China Daily and other English newspapers in China are a good wealth for me to tap. There is no reason for me to ignore them and I am not in a position to discard the contributions made by great scholars in English language.

If we want to express our thoughts in English freely and in a way acceptable to educated native speakers and readers, we have to learn from Chinese scholars who have been trying hard to maintain the marriage of Chinese and English and pave a way for guys like me.

To sum up, we learners should learn from both sides: native speakers and Chinese scholars. That's one of the reasons why I have copied News about China in English into this forum.

this said, I will continue to copy them into the forum with a vengeance. Is this practice quite frustrating or even annoying? So long as I feel pleased and satisfied, I will continue to do so. So forgive me for giving myself a good time.

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Re: Revise This Please

oristarA wrote:

(The following is written by an English learner in China. It is somewhat long, so for your convenience, please just choose some paragraphs to revise)

Years ago, I was sagely advised by a great scholar that english learners should totally discard Chinglish such as we often read in China Daily. I thought it was a great recommendation and therefore was highly grateful to God for being given such a good guiding line and to the scholar who wisely guided me to bypass hidden obstacles in English learning.

this said, I will continue to copy them into the forum with a vengeance. Is this practice quite frustrating or even annoying? So long as I feel pleased and satisfied, I will continue to do so. So forgive me for giving myself a good time.

Years ago, I was sagely advised by a great scholar that students of English should totally discard Chinglish such as we often read in the China Daily. I thought it was a great recommendation. I was grateful for such good advice and to the scholar who suggested I bypass hidden obstacles in learning English. I now question following his advice.

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Note: from the rest of this statement, I believe that you would want to add that last sentence to show that you no longer agree with this sage. I removed "to God" because it is overly dramatic and unnecessary unless you truly were thanking God. You need to capitalize the "E" in English. China Daily, being a newspaper, needs to be italicized or underlined. The long sentence, when broken up, emphasizes your point.

. . . . .

This said, I will continue to copy them into the forum frequently. Is this practice frustrating or even annoying to you? As long as I feel pleased with this addition to my English studies, I will continue to do so. Forgive me for indulging myself.

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Note: the phrase "with a vengeance" is trite. Better form would be to drop the phrase or else replace it with the word "frequently" or "often." All sentences must start with a capital. The last sentence is so casual that it has a sexual connotation. Better to use the verb "indulge" which means to take one's pleasure freely, yield freely to (one's own) desire and has the added measure of being lenient with oneself... willing to overlook a fault.

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Hi Piffka, " Forgive me for indulging myself" is nice indeed. "Have a good time" seems a pun for ESL students, according to your explanation. For me, I really didn't know it tends to be a sexual connotation, thanks for the heads up! Or I might always think it is just like " good day".

Besides, I think the writer treated "with a vengeance" as a pun too. It not only meant "frequently", but meant " with a vengeance against the so-called sage".

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Hi Oristar, I see what you are saying and take back my correction. The use of "with a vengeance" does broaden the writer's point about the incorrect advice. The phrase doesn't mean frequently though, it means "to an extreme degree, thoroughly, or violently."

Here's a fine point... the mild sexual connotation is of masturbation as in "giving myself a good time." I suppose ESL students may think "having a good time" is sexual, but it is also a straightforward comment.

You said you liked the phrase "indulge myself." It is fairly common, so common as to verge on being trite, but it fits well and is still used. It came into common use, I think, with Samuel Pepys, a 17th C. writer who often indulged himself.

If you have some time, you might enjoy these:
Cliche Exercises

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Thanks Piffka.

Your comment about "indulging myself" is so practical that I couldn't easily find it out in English books and dics.

PS. I've known "with a vengeance" means "thoroughly or violently", I just wanted to parrot what you rewrote, but carelessly ignored you've actually cast off the original one.

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