what went wrong?

Is there something you're not telling us?

Does she have a reason to think that you might be opposed to the practice of abortions? Dead set against the procedures perhaps?

Then again, what are the chances that the baby isn't yours? Could the girlfriend have gotten pregnant from someone else and that she's feeling guilty for any possible transgressions?

As for contacting her? Have you tried to contact a third party (like a shared friend) to gather any intel on your girlfriend and the abortion? Going to her house could be construed as an aggressive and unwanted act. That should be the last option. Perhaps you should email or text her to meet you in a neutral territory such as busy restaurant, etc....

Personally I dont think that i have done anything wrong to deserve what she is doing. This a lady who has been crying every month because she could not get pregnant and all this time I have been by her side comforting and encouraging her to have the faith and it was the time we thought of going to seek midical help that she got pregnant. I still dont understand her sudden change of attitude.

If it's been twelve weeks, and she was your girlfriend, carrying your baby, if that was me, I would ignore what she is doing/saying, and get myself over to her house especially if she was crying so much and you stood by her as she "wanted" a baby.

What if she's playing with your emotions? What if she is trying to ascertain just how much you love her and glad that she's pregnant and is not going to have an abortion at all, just saying it to see what you would do.

It doesn't sound as if she is emotionally stable to me, even before she got pregnant.

Thats why I am at lost.Right now I dont know whether she has had abortion or not. Some people are suggesting that me going to her house would be act of agression.I just cant stop thinking of her and Im confussed and stress up.

You have every right to go and 'confront' her. In fact, it would be ridiculous if you did not.

But as to 'confronting' her...what are you trying to achieve out of doing so? I'd have that clear in your mind before you do. Have in your mind the safe ground for yourself, which are three grounds (that I can see):
- it's your baby too, and you have a right to know what she decides (she certainly can't tell you not to care about the pregnancy and your possible future child)
- you are her partner and care for her (she doesn't have a right to ask you not to care)
- As a partner she is being cruel to you, and you have a right to ask her why she is being so cruel (you have a right to no be treated cruelly by your partner)

Of course, for each of those there are valid counter arguments (on her behalf)...and...they in no way invalidate your right to be treated with respect. Stand up for yourself while respecting her rights...they are in conflict, so you do have every right to ask her why she is doing this...respectfully, and with firmness that you won't be treated like dirt.

Lastly, if she is absolutely desperate to have a child, there is no way she would suddenly want it aborted, unless :
- she thought that you might be the reason she can't have a child, and
- so she tried with someone else, and
- she got pregnant, and
- she now feels incredibly guilty (which will be for more than just one reason)

OR

- there was some very unforeseen reason why it is no longer viable to have a child with you.

To me, from the story presented, that's by far the most obvious explanation...but, there is always reason to also be cautious, as we may not have the whole story.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't ask her what is going on, based on the previously mentioned 3 grounds (or any grounds that you feel you have a right to know or act towards - stand up for them while caring for whatever it is that is going on in her head...both at once is always possible, even if they argue it is not - which some try as a distraction technique).

Are you sure she was even pregnant?

Take a friend with you if you decide to talk to her about this. She sounds unstable - or she is trying to get attention from you.

Or you have totally mis-read the entire situation.

Yes we did the pregnancy test 3 times before we went to doctor for final confirmation. I sent her a mail yesterday asking her if she has had the abortion or not and up til now she has not reply back.She will never pick numerous calls and sms I made .I wonder why she is keeping me in suspense.I just want to know if she is still keeping the baby or she has gone ahead with the abortion.

Now I have made my mind that I will go ahead to her place in the coming two days to find out things for myself and I wonder if its the right way for me to do.

What is right for you to do? That is what you must do.

- Let me put it this way - she has treated your feelings with disregard and contempt. She has (implicitly) said she doesn't care about your feelings and that she is the only one that matters in this - is this true? (and of course, it is not true - you, and your feelings, do matter...and you are meant to be a couple)

Explanations of this are difficult. It comes down to this - have some balls, go after what you want & need (and then look after her as well as you can). It's like being in an airplane when the oxygen supplies fail, and you are next to a child...you still put your mask on first, because if you pass out, you can't help the child...and only then do you put the childs mask on. In an adult case, if you don't look after your feelings, you develop resentment which taints all your future dealings with the other person (and then you blame the other person, when in fact, you allowed yourself to be treated that way and have your feelings ignored). If you look after yourself, resentment doesn't enter the equation, and you can then extend untainted & pure empathy, compassion, care, and love to the other person.

Pure empathy, compassion, care, and love are beautiful this...that don't exist if you are suffering from resentment, hurt, or a feeling of being used or abused. In other words, they don't exist if you let yourself get walked over.