I'm too jealous and controlling and need help!

Lock him in your room but do remember to feed now and then.

Maybe you need to take a look at your own self esteem, and figure out why you feel threatened by his friendliness toward other girls. Obviously you have what he wants if he is with you...you just need to convince yourself of that.

This may not have ANYTHING to do with him. This is all you.

I bet if your really looked at yourself you would see this personality trait throughout your life - and in all domains of your life (work, love, family, community, health).

Try to find out where it's coming from before it ruins your entire life, not just with this guy.

Hello,

If you've never before been jealous, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion so quickly.

I have a different take from the other advice given here. That is - IF you have never before felt jealousy around a partner - it may or may not be 'you'.

There are plenty of smooth men who 'never do anything wrong' who bed plenty of other women. Whether or not your partner is one of these types is for you to know.

I also have a suspicion that one of the reasons you are jealous is because you see reflections of the way he won your heart in the way he treats these other women....if so, then once again...you need to know whether this is the way he woo's women, or if you just fell in love with him for this friendliness trait of his.

There is also the question of how the two of you met. Certain ways of meeting result in the creation of trust issues, and therefore jealousy issues - for example, if the two of you got together while he had another girlfriend (not matter what excuses the guy comes up with) - this action creates trust issues between most partners.

Also, there is an issue with either your self-esteem, or your view of life. Long term jealousy ALWAYS results is lower self esteem and frequent unhappiness. That you choose to stay in a relationship with someone who causes you extreme jealousy should tell you something. It is something that you should get to the bottom of, and work out :
1. Why you put up with him (because you love him is NOT the issue)
2. Why you think you can't do better (because he's the best is NOT the issue)
3. Why you blame yourself
4. Any other issues you find arising from your situation

Lastly - in relation to the above paragraph, you need to understand that you are responsible for all your own feelings and decisions. Other people can contribute to your feelings and decisions - and they can influence your feelings and decisions...but your feelings & decisions are yours.

So when you ask 'why do I put up with him' - the answer starts with 'I think deep down inside me...' or 'when XX does YY, I feel...' or 'what I want in a relationship is ZZ and he provides ZZ' ...etc. In all of those, you acknowledge responsibility for your life, for your feelings, for who you are, for what you do etc

Hope it helps.

The signs of flirting are very clear: there is lots of smiling over very little, laughter over really dumb things, non-stop talking only to each other excluding everyone else; touching of arms and shoulders hands even cheeks, a leaning close towards, perhaps whispering, stares to make eye-contact, little sexy remarks like ("Would you like to sit on my lap?" OR "You're so slim!" OR "You're so cute I could take you home in my suitcase." OR, "Your girlfriend is so lucky that you cook for her!"). There is no mistaking it. Monkeys, apes, chimpanzees, people, animals -- all know how to flirt. It is sexual. It advertises availability and attractiveness.

If your boyfriend is not doing these things above, then you are quite in the wrong and must control your impulse to be a wet blanket. He is just being friendly. You will destroy the relationship and yourself.

I largely agree with "Vikorr's" statements here. He is right. There is something wrong with your relationship here. Perhaps he stops paying attention to you when you are socializing. When I wanted to drive my old boyfriend bonkers, I spent the entire evening talking to other men...

Apparently you're not aware but you're replying to a 2-yr-old thread. the OP is no longer active on this forum.

I'm very jealous I'm in my late 30 s boyfriend is in his early 50s . We are In a long distance relationship it's hard for me. The majority of his friends are girls . He is always hanging out with them . Sometimes they spend the night at his place which I don't like at all. We really don't speak over the phone his always busy tells me to trust him . I love him he travels for work sometimes tells me one of his girlfriends shows up I don't agree with it . He tells me don't worry nothing will happen but I feel so unease . Their is so much more that drives me to act jealous . I need advice

Long distance? And he's socializing with other women, even them showing up on his business trips (Why wasn't that you?)

This guy is playing you - big time.

You are not being jealous. This is bizarre behavior from a man. And from you, because you believe him.

Drop him and find a REAL, IN-PERSON man.

PS HOW did you get into this mess? Stay off the damn computer!!

Hi

I have a similar situation. My GF is Austrian. She is about to go on holiday. For her its fine to go into a sauna naked with people. I get it. Thats their culture. She said omg NO i would never go into one naked with lots of guys..i dont want to be checked out all the time.....but 1 guy is ok.

I said...

actualy thats worse...

more intimate

you in time room with just one guy

just u 2

for me thats grim

i raised the issue she said well its not happening toill after janauiary dont worry till then

:O(

Hi I’m not going to fool you or tell you something stupid I know the feeling my ex girlfriend told me the same things you’re saying about your boyfriend, but she would rub herself against the men she was talking to and would gaze into their eyes as if she’s hypnotized, after arguing many times and catching her rubbing herself up against the spectrum cable boy yes he was young not one of those pants hanging of his ass guys, she would always say she’s just friendly... that relationship lasted longer than it was supposed to. You’re with the wrong man, you want him all to yourself and he’s not the staying close to one woman guy (I like calling them social swingers) who knows what they do when you’re not around, you love him with everything you’re worth but he doesn’t understand or appreciates the intense love you have for him. You will never get him to stop and you’re going to have to either accept he might be sleeping around on you and live with it or leave him. Hopefully he doesn’t get disrespectful and starts doing things in front of you, mine did I probably would have never left her, you have to realize you love deeper than the swingers and either accept that he’s going to be that way and sheer him with other women. I’m going to tell you find someone that loves like you.