Is the Term "My Gal" offensive....

It took me two reads to realize who you were referring to. I'll use fake names just for the sake of my own sanity.

Dramatis personae: Your significant other (let's call her Kathy), you, and the new employee (let's call her Susie).

Kathy gets upset when, in recounting the day's events, you refer to Susie as "my gal". Is that correct? Susie hasn't heard any of this and isn't in the same room or building or anything. Kathy, essentially, is upset on behalf of Susie?

I dunno. I'm a 49-year-old woman and I shrug at this, but then again I tend to use the term. I take it Kathy isn't threatened by Susie, in terms of your relationship. Is she (Kathy)?

Of course it would be more accurate to refer to Susie as Susie, or as "my new employee" or "my new secretary" or "Ms. Smith". All of those would be more respectful, too, but I don't think that necessarily means that you're being disrespectful. I am thinking Kathy is just finding something to be upset about. Sure there isn't an undercurrent of anything else.

And if you're referring to Kathy as "my gal", I shrug even more. Before we were married, I can't even remember what my husband referred to me as "my girlfriend"? "My significant other"? "jespah"? "my gal"?

No, it's not rude. People are over-sensitive about **** sometimes

Cycloptichorn

What Cyclo said.

I think it's kind of cute to use the term "my gal in the office"...of course it's not politically correct, as you stated already, but to get jealous over this? Oh my, Katie (as we dubbed your significant other) must be very insecure.

Personally, I don't think I would be offended, or not enough to make a big deal about, but your fiancée was, and it's her feelings you should pay attention to.

Rather than apologizing again, or trying to defend yourself, neither of which are working, admit to your fiancée you were insensitive in referring to a female employee in what sounded like a patronizing or demeaning way, and thank her for raising your awareness about that. Ask her if you do that sort of thing often, and ask that she being it to your attention if you do. She may not like it when you refer to "my guy" either. In other words, give her a chance to express her feelings about this whole issue of how you refer to your employees, and listen, without trying to cut her off by getting defensive or apologizing. That will show respect for her feelings as well as her opinions. Your fiancée may be picking up on something that you're not fully aware of, so give her a chance to tell you about that, without getting defensive.

It is possible your fiancée did feel a tinge of jealousy when you said, "My gal,"--she's your "gal", after all, and she might not like hearing you refer to other women in so familiar a manner. Unless jealousy is a problem in your relationship, just let it pass unless she brings it up more directly. If you give her a chance to talk about your "My gal" remark, she might say something about the way you referred to that woman which will clue you in about whether she did feel jealous, and why. The only way you will find out what's on her mind, and what's bothering her, is to listen to her.

I think it's ok to refer to the office worker as "my gal"--as long as you don't say it when she's around. She might be offended.

I know I would have been when I was working in an office. I woulda had NOW pickets up the wazoo.

Well, my husband's 59 and I'm nearly 54 and I was just trying to imagine what I'd think if he said that about his draftswoman... I don't think it's a big deal- I know I certainly wouldn't have been offended.

As to what to say or do about your g/f, just say, "Point taken, thank you." And leave it there. Doesn't mean you have to stop saying it to your buddies or family. But as someone else suggested, maybe just use her name Easier!

Thanks...i am sending her an email right now...and am going to use the part about bringing things to my attnention...Yours was a great reply...you may want to consider counseling as a career

I agree with all so far, see Firefly's point about discussing with Susie, and see Mame's point about making just a simple remark re thanks for bringing it to your attention.

I slightly see Kathy's point too - if it is her point, and it might not be - but there is an underlying thing about the word 'my'. My architect, my contractor, my engineer, my typist, my girl friday, my gal Sal. We don't own each other even if we are paying people via some kind of understood contract. But this is common and totally understandable usage and not liking it is pretty nitpicky. I've been many people's landscape architect, and happy enough to be, but I understand the slight frisson that comes with saying 'my' when I do that myself. But getting around that possession thing is a lot of work - George Gobel, the engineer who is helping me......
Easier to say, George said this...

If Kathy's point is re the word Gal, it's sort of old fashioned, like a 40's movie, and hard for me to get all worked up about.
The word girl has a lot of women shuddering, though. I'm so old that I remember us in our early twenties calling each other girls, similar in usage to girlfriends. But now it is often taken as fairly dismissive.

Re age, I'm older than the hills.