A mistake?

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Fwb, Mistake
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I think im making a mistake, im just confuse. I been hanging out with this married man, and spending a lot of time with him. I know him from work, he take me out to restaurants, even on walks and always claiming where just friends to reassure me. I hung out with him last night, things did got a little out of control last night. Now he is texting me, he said hes falling for me, and wants to be more so he throws friends with benefits out there. Im just thinking so ill always be the second girl, never number one. How did i let myself be this stupid. I mean i kinda feel bad for his wife and kids, but i don't know. I do like him, but i just wonder is this friend with benefits thing ever going to be more? Im going to see him at work tomorrow, so if i say no to his text, im always going to see him and i probably find a lame excuse to talk to him. I don't want to hurt anyone by seeing him, but i have feelings to. Im wondering if this will ever work, or just turn into a huge train wreck?

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 1,711 • Replies: 11

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@AngleLee,

Train wreck.

You "kinda" feel bad for the wife?

Rolling Eyes

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@AngleLee,

How incredibly selfish and self centred. What, is it all about you?

You don't give a f**k about his wife & kids, but you feel you should? You want to pretend you care, even if you just really don't?

You want to be bonk buddies with him, and hope that you can take him away from his wife and kids?

You want to hurt his wife, have his family split up, and do that to the kids?

You want to be with a man you can never trust (because anyone that does this once, does it multiple times), and who will never trust you (because anyone who does this with a married man, has no qualms about doing so when she herself is married)?

Seriously woman, grow a brain, stop thinking with what's between your legs, and find someone who's single.

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@vikorr,

Yeah i know its not all about me. wow, harsh. How am i selfish? If i was not felling any regret, then i would be selfish. I said i was confuse, and i never said i don't fell bad for his wife and kids, none of that came out of my mouth. So how am i selfish? I do not want to be the bad person here. Thats why im thinking about this.

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If the day ever comes when I create a thread seeking advice and/or sympathy - either with a desire to wedge myself in to a marriage - or any other sordid love triangle scenario where I pretend I don't know exactly what I'm doing... I hereby authorize our resident gun nut to put me down.

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@vikorr,

Being a wife, and a strong woman (emotionally) I have a slightly different take on this vikorr.

Everyone always assumes, "oh the poor wife, she's being hurt."

This young lady should be glad if all the wife feels is hurt.

If you think I, as a wife, would take this lying down, feeling all hurt you've all got another thing coming.

Lemme tell ya honey, you'd never **** a married man again, after I got through with the both of you.

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@AngleLee,

Is there a soft way for a stranger to say ' this is incredibly selfish'?

Quote:

If i was not felling any regret, then i would be selfish.

That, is a lie used purely to ease your conscience. I doubt you've ever before had yourself described as selfish purely for 'feelings' - it's always been for actions (which may be driven by feelings). So in the end, 'Selfishness' isn't about feelings - it's about actions. Your selfishness started with your actions on that night, and they extend to your desire to have actively split up his family (ie to have him with you), and thereby so very obviously hurt his wife and children....how is that not selfish?

And please don't protest that you don't want that...you actively seek that when you deliberately turn a blind eye to the obvious outcome of your actions and deliberately go after your desire.

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@vikorr,

Easy now… logic isn't for everyone…

Very very well put, by the way.

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Oh Angle - (is that right, Angle?)

How or WHY would you do this to yourself?

A married man!? What a set up for disaster.

Get ahold of yourself and give this guy the boot. You are being used in a very dangerous game in which you will NEVER win.
.

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@AngleLee,

Answer always lies in Question.
Henceforth, don't be a liar and never think of lying.

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@mdchaskar,

Everyone is a liar at some point.

And lying is situational - would you lie to save the world? What about to protect your privacy? What about to spare someone needless/pointless hurt? How about to protect a friends confidentiality? How about a State secret? How about if you knew you would lose $1,000,000 of your own money if you told the truth?

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@vikorr,

If Angle desires this married man then a lie might just get her out of the situation. Although she does work with him so it would complicate things within the working environment.

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A mistake?

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