Reply
Tue 3 Feb, 2004 01:44 pm
I heard about a test last week that supposedly tells how gay a person is, and I've heard of these tests before. I don't believe there is any degree of gayness. I think you're either straight or gay. You have a natural interest in one sex or the other, and if you "experiment", I believe it's a sign that you are either confused or curious. It doesn't change your natural attraction to either sex.
Has anybody seen one of these tests? Any opinions on this?
In regard to the either/or question you pose I'd simply ask you to try to pidgeon-hole a bisexual that way.
I think bisexuals are either curious or confused. Maybe someone on here will change my mind.
I'm neither curious or confused. I find men and women attractive for different reasons.
I've said this before, but I think the Kinsey scale is the most accurate way to think about this. You may be all the way over to one side of the scale (I always forget if 0 or 6 is "totally straight"), but that doesn't mean everyone is.
http://www.lgbtcampus.org/resources/training/kinsey_scale.html
(OK, 0 is "exclusively heterosexual")
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have limited the possibilities like that. There are a number of reasons why a person might be bisexual, but I still think that, down deep, your natural tendency is to be attracted to either men or women. A person might be able to "teach" themselves to enjoy sex with either, but I don't think that's something that you are born with.
First of all human behavior, including sexual, is very flexible. Secondly the classification of sexual behavior can be thought of as a curve or graph in which the majority of people fall into the heterosexual end of the spectrum but with a skew, or tail into which homosexual fall. Sexual behavior has a biological basis, mediated by culture. So homosexuality MAY be biologically based, But all individual CAN preform in both categories if they wish.
All?
I'd say maybe the 1's through 5's.
I think there are two parts to it, where on the spectrum people fall innately ("born that way") and learned behavior/ socialization. A 5 who has been socialized that heterosexual behavior is best and then experiements with homosexual behavior may be affected differently than a 1.
Acquiunk,
I agree with you. I think it is biologically based. And that can't be changed. A straight man can, for many psychological reasons, live a homosexual life, just like a homosexual can repress his desires and live the life of a straight man. I'm just saying that it doesn't change his true biological preference.
Yes there is both predisposition and circumstantial influence, but kickycan don't rule out predisposition towards both.
"Watch out for your cornhole, dude."
kickycan -- Just curious, how many gay or lesbian people have
you hung out with, really talked with and gotten to know as people?
Smiley, what could that possible have to do with the topic? I actually know a lot of gay people, and I've discussed this kind of thing with them many times. Are you afraid of this topic for some reason?
kickycan, you stated "I don't believe there is any degree of gayness. I think you're either straight or gay."
In my experience, there is no such thing as a gay person or a straight person,
so I was curious what experiences are leading you to think the opposite(!),
or what your sources of information have been so far.
I have a friend who is really turned on by red hair, more than anything in the whole world.
Does this make them gay or straight, would you say?
And does your answer change depending on if they are male or female?
Another friend who is turned on by leather and "dangerous" looking people.
Another friend who is turned on by softness and gentleness.
Another friend who is turned on by intellectual debate and emotional disclosure.
Another friend who is turned on by power and money.
Another friend who is turned on by rounded curves of black skin.
In each case, how could you possibly determine if they are gay or straight?!
The qualities that interest these people reveal a lot about what they are missing in their daily lives, what they are denied or compensate for, and what they need based on their own character, personality, constitution and history. These qualities are not actually attached to a particular gender, yet they are strongly attracted to people who have them!
I've never met two "gay" people or two "straight" people who want the same thing. And I'm not sitting at home theorizing about people I've never met. This is from talking with hundreds of people over many years, and taking the time to try to understand each one as they really are -- not as my expectations or stereotypes would have them be.
That's how I formed my idea that everyone has a unique sexual identity, *and* unique sexual orientation. There are six billion unique people on the planet. A few people just want raw sex, but 95% of the people I've met are really looking for something else *through* having sex.
But I'm still learning. What's your story? How did you come to believe that everyone is either one thing or another? If I understand what created the idea then I might agree(!) with you, but at least give me a chance to understand.
Smiley wrote:I have a friend who is really turned on by red hair, more than anything in the whole world.
Does this make them gay or straight, would you say?
And does your answer change depending on if they are male or female?
Another friend who is turned on by leather and "dangerous" looking people.
Another friend who is turned on by softness and gentleness.
Another friend who is turned on by intellectual debate and emotional disclosure.
Another friend who is turned on by power and money.
Another friend who is turned on by rounded curves of black skin.
In each case, how could you possibly determine if they are gay or straight?!
Nice sermon. I hope you enjoyed it. In answer to your last question, I couldn't. That's not what I meant. You are mixing up people's psychological attractions with their physical sexual preferences, which, I believe are genetically determined. I feel that when a baby is born, it is born with predetermined sexual preferences. I don't think science has disproved this, so how can you act so self-righteous about it?
Smiley wrote:But I'm still learning. What's your story? How did you come to believe that everyone is either one thing or another? If I understand what created the idea then I might agree(!) with you, but at least give me a chance to understand.
I would say that about fifty percent of my waking life is spent with gay people. Some of my best friends are gay. I know many different types of people too, just like you. It's a topic that interests me. End of story.
"I feel that when a baby is born, it is born with predetermined sexual preferences."
Again, where does this feeling come from? What's your idea based on?
Smiley wrote:kickycan, you stated "I don't believe there is any degree of gayness. I think you're either straight or gay."
In my experience, there is no such thing as a gay person or a straight person,
so I was curious what experiences are leading you to think the opposite(!),
or what your sources of information have been so far.
I have a friend who is really turned on by red hair, more than anything in the whole world.
Does this make them gay or straight, would you say?
And does your answer change depending on if they are male or female?
Another friend who is turned on by leather and "dangerous" looking people.
Another friend who is turned on by softness and gentleness.
Another friend who is turned on by intellectual debate and emotional disclosure.
Another friend who is turned on by power and money.
Another friend who is turned on by rounded curves of black skin.
In each case, how could you possibly determine if they are gay or straight?!
The qualities that interest these people reveal a lot about what they are missing in their daily lives, what they are denied or compensate for, and what they need based on their own character, personality, constitution and history. These qualities are not actually attached to a particular gender, yet they are strongly attracted to people who have them!
I've never met two "gay" people or two "straight" people who want the same thing. And I'm not sitting at home theorizing about people I've never met. This is from talking with hundreds of people over many years, and taking the time to try to understand each one as they really are -- not as my expectations or stereotypes would have them be.
That's how I formed my idea that everyone has a unique sexual identity, *and* unique sexual orientation. There are six billion unique people on the planet. A few people just want raw sex, but 95% of the people I've met are really looking for something else *through* having sex.
But I'm still learning. What's your story? How did you come to believe that everyone is either one thing or another? If I understand what created the idea then I might agree(!) with you, but at least give me a chance to understand.
I read an article a while back on how our "preferences" (the physical aspects like the ones in your example -- not the male or female preferences) are formed by previous relationships and experiences in our lives. In other words, learned behaviours. It rang true to me.
On the topic of discussion, I believe sexuality is a result of biology and not "choice". Eons ago there was a british documentary mini-series (3 parts I think) I saw (and have on tape) called "Brain Sex". It was very interesting and enlightening. On one episode they explored the biological impact on sexuality. They profiled an experiment done on rats where the pregnant mother rat was placed in a stressful situation during a critical part of fetal development. The male offspring exhibited homosexual behaviour by trying to mount other male rats. I know humans aren't rats, not all of us anyhow
, but it was interesting to see the scientific evidence. There was more than that, but the one part is what sticks out in my memory.
I guess I think there's quite a range of natural attraction, over a lifetime, and zeroing in within the range, even more range.
Actually, I don't know much at all anymore.
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