My condolences for you're loved ones...and i agree with the gentle and loving sadness...I so hope you are right
death is a bitch smh
awww but losing at that age would have been so difficult especially you're mother
yeah i understand what you mean with having siblings still around when you are...this is so sad
I still believe everyone is different with grieving but it can be really hard
i so hope so, and it does change everything, you're views on god or even a whats the point to do anything attitude smh i don't know :\ death just pisses me off...
Oh no, my great grams when i was 7 and close too...we had her body in the house and i cried my last night holding her, age13 nana got TB she raised me so when we took her home the adults didn't want to send her to a hospice so i said i will care for her while they worked but they said my school until my nana cried that she trusted only me. i already had a bed in there since we were partners in crime lol and i bathed her, meds, the morphine we were given so i would also give her the allowed amount but also record things down since i made a timetable chart in her room lol the one night i left her *she was sick for 8months * i decided to go out and get drunk, i got home and was so drunk i knocked out. when i was woken they said she was in the hospice because of soo much pain. walking in to see her...her breathing was slowed and hard like when you gasp and exhale hard...eyes blood shot red from not sleeping and she wasn't talking...and i told myself this was just a little visit then she will be ok again, so i kissed her and went to sleep in the visitors room...strange thing was i saw her in my dream and she looked healthy and how i always saw her but i asked
'where are you going young lady..." (we teased a lot) "Shopping, baby" "can i come?" when she looked sad shaking her head "not now...you know i love you, partners forever...i think my taxi is here, make sure you look after you're grandfather baby...toodaahhluuu" she said sadly until i was thrown off the couch by a cousin screaming at me to get to the room. I ran in and she was already dead. i didn't cry but i couldn't touch her. Her body came home for 2 nights and the last i finally went in when i touched her cold hard face i broke down...death of my grandfather i was 19 and he got dementia 2years before so the adults put him in a resthome which broke my heart but i visited everyday after school, family members visited once in a while but he wasn't a good father but to his grandchildren he was the best i could ever have...then i was offered a job in Australia from my uncle cos its great pay and i told him that if he could hold on a bit and i will set everything for us to get him out of there, he was still healthy when i left. 2months had past and i kept asking my family if they visited him and they would say they were going too then 3 months but one particular week i was ringing and facebooking the whole lot of them to please visit grandpa it just felt so important, i would ring but he wouldn't say much, only if he saw my face then he would try...Then one night i woke up crying but i just couldn't remember y from the dream, i was crying hysterically till i eventually fell back to sleep. 9 in the morning aus time (nz 3hours ahead) my older sis say's "santana" when i just started crying and said don't you ******* tell me he's dead..."
...... yeah he passed that night(im not saying im psychic or anything but in my culture things like this is normal and my nana and grams were witch doctors in the islands first then this community smh well he passed away in nz and one of my family members spent my savings money without me knowing so i was heartbroken. they wanted it short and done fast but i just felt cheated...My best friend who past away and other best friend *only us3* they went and held the phone for me but i cried hanging up. two days passed and my best friend who passed booked my ticket home. she wanted to do it on the day but she wasn't payed yet but that didn't matter, and made me love her even more...they showed me the pamphlet thing for the service and i didn't cry till at the cemetery, they didn't bury him near my nana but away from the family area on this hill alone...i cried like a bitch with mud on me since it hadn't been flattened down and i cried because i failed my nana to look after him...he died alone, in pain and thinking no one loved him...that is my guilt i will hold on to forever...im sooooo sorry i took it to far...oh she's my best friend but i call her my sister who passed from cancer lol sorry im talking to much...you should check out my other stories on coral castle
thank you and sorry for getting carried away hahahah i need a smoke and cry outside lol it's 4 in the morning here hahahah smh thank you again hon and i send all my love to you and you're family