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Mon 2 Feb, 2004 02:34 pm
hello there,
I am a first time user and need some advice. my wife and I have been married for 15 years. we were high school sweet hearts. we were separated a couple of years ago and we both saw other people. she was dating a guy that was way more experienced than me in bed. since he didn't get married at an early age. well once my wife realized there is more to a relationship than sex we got back together. at first the sex was fine but a couple years later it is nonexistant. maybe once every two weeks to once a month. my wife seems completely satisfied with our relationship. but I feel like the sexual part is missing
i need some advice please...
i have disscussed this with her but she does not want to have sex with me just to please me. and of course i want her to want it to and not just do it for me. she says that i need to shave more than every third day. so i shave every day. etc. etc. would watching porn or role playing help- no interest. is this common after an affair ?
Hormones??? Is she on the pill?
she is on the pill. but more inportantly she is on anti-depressants so i admit this makes climax more difficult for her, but i am usually up to the task.
freddie jones- You just gave me the answer. Your wife is on anti-depressants. These medications sometimes have side effects which interfere with sexual function. Depression itself often reduces libido.
so does this mean i am doomed to life without sex, because i truly love my wife
freddie jones- Your wife is on anti-depressants, and all you are concerned about is your sex life? Maybe that is indicative of a problem with YOU.
Seems to me that you would want your wife to be well, first and foremost. Is her depression under control? Are you both going for therapy so as to learn to deal with her condition? You might want to consider that!
her depression is under control and we have a quite normal life, but she can not go off her meds. sex is not the only thing on my mind, i am just trying to improve our relationship
I don't know much about the meds, but if they do what Phoenix states, then I can't see any sollution in that area. Sorry I can't help.
Welcome to A2K.
Well, gee, aren't there a variety of antidepressant meds? Don't people try, under a doctor's care, different ones?
I agree with ossobuco - have you asked her to discuss these things with her doctor? To me, if she will than it would indicate that she sees a problem, even if the doctor can't suggest anything to help, at least she approached it.
If she won't ask then she's not concerned about it one way or the other - that's a red flag.
Also, was it like this before you broke the first time? If so, then it could be that's just the way she is.
ditto Sugar....have her ask the doctor...many times the doctor can prescribe another anti-depressant that may not have the same sexual side effects.
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