What should I do, shes my everything.

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Hello, my names Steve and this is my story.
So I met this great girl two years ago at work, she was my co-worker and I grew enough courage to give her my number in hopes of hanging out sometime, she gave me her number as well and we started hanging out, it was wonderful! Then one day I kissed her and she was in a bit of suprise but liked it, we then hung out more and more and one day infront of my house she looked pretty upset so I asked her and she told me she was being kicked out of her apartment so I offered my place since she had no place else, i'm a really nice person and I try to do everything in my power to help people and besides I really liked her so she agreed after alot of thinking it over.

So after being BF and GF for a few months we started falling deeper and deeper in love but I started to become attached and I was becoming everything she disliked in a guy (needy and clingy) we then had our outs and she left to stay at a friends for a week as a "break" but still "together" I did my best to not bother her and she slowly began to miss me and started texting me and before the week was over she asked if id like to go out and have dinner with her so I took her out and she told me she just wanted to teach me a lesson, after that I snapped out of it and we were very very happy for a while I moved all her stuff in and we slept together every night watched movies went out occasionally and just had plain fun, went on a road trip together to Florida from New York and she told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and how much she was in love with me and for the first time in my life I cried with tears of joy.

Then months later she started to become very impatient with me and angry all the time, barely text-ed me and made little to no effort in being affectionate with me so I confronted her about it and she told me that she works more hours then I do and she cant see a future with us right now because I have no ambitions and she gave me an ultimatum either start trying hard and find another job and work my ass off or go to school and do good because she wants a man not a boy. So I was trying but not hard enough and one day she and I argued again and she screamed at me to be a man so I got really angry and pointed to my crotch and said "see these I am a man!" she took offense to this and started to re-evaluate her relationship with me and started talking to her single friends about what to do, so one day not too long ago I went to give her a kiss and she turned away and drove off to work I called her up and she ended it.

Heres what I did wrong,I lied when we first met and made it seem like I was a man by knowing what I wanted in life. I started becoming clingy and needy again towards the end, I was lazy and didn;t take her seriously when I should have. I did do alot for her and she says I'd make a great husband and father and I'm the guy she'd wanna marry but only if I had my **** together.

When we broke up she told me that she tricked herself into falling in love with me and she never did but I think that's untrue she told me she wants to be single and have fun but not go out and be a slut just go hang out with people and have a bigger social life but I honestly never said she couldn't, she says she wants to give me another chance but only if I change and If I don't I can forget it. So recently I found another job and I'm about to begin working 2 jobs and going to school, I'm working overtime and pulling out all the stunts because honestly I'd give my very life for this girl.

Shes currently living with me and recently was pretty mad that I went through her phone and found out shes talking to other guys but on a "just friends" basis she told me she was going out with her girl friends but I found this and caught her in a lie, I guess she didn't wanna hurt me but still. I mean I shouldn't have looked but I was curious and I know what happened to the cat. Shes currently living with me but she seems to have her defenses up and doesn't even let me touch her, we sleep in the same bed still but shes trying to move out and having no luck as far as I know yet, shes been out alot and hasn't spent any time with me really, but I don't expect her to were not "together" right now but we'll still somehow end up watching Netflix or TV together. Shes acting like everythings normal with her life on Facebook and such and seems like shes happy. I honestly don't know what to do, she has these new guy friends in her life now and I feel like a neglected pet rock.

She says I'm an amazing guy and she knows I'd do anything for her, but how do I win her back? She just wants to see me change and she will give me another chance, I asked her when? She says "I don't know" could be soon or a few weeks months maybe years from now but I honestly don't wanna wait that long because I'm afraid she'll get over me and I'll just be a distant memory, I still let her use my car whenever she needs it and I'm always there for her still even broken up, she has nothing against me in that department and she even said she'll never find another guy like me but who knows really?

I'm 27 and shes almost 21. We had our ups and down and she even went on a date with someone while we were together but she never kissed the guy and she outright told me I was on her mind the whole time, because nobody measures up to me, shes attracted to strength from within big time.

What do I do? How do I get her back into my life? If anyone can offer advice I'll be sure to read it right away. I'm not a desperate person but even she says we have flawless chemistry together but she said right now thats not enough she cant fall in love with me if I'm not a "man". Please help.

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@SteMan,

So, tell me, why would you give your life for this girl you've fixed on, had fun with?

Never mind her, you seem unacquainted with yourself. What that hysteria is about I don't know, but be calm and listen to yourself.

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@SteMan,

Sorry, but I think it is over and maybe that is for the best although it may not seem like it right now. She has a very set vision of what she is looking for in a guy and you are not it. She can try to force you to be it and you can try to become it, but it's not going to work because that is not who you are. Trying to become her dream guy is going to make you miserable and it's not going to work anyway. Don't go around kicking yourself. Maybe the next girl will want you for who you are.

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@engineer,

Sorry, but this will be harsh.

You're giving her free room and board, and Netflix, plus a sympathetic ear. So why should she rush to move out? For her, the situation is ideal, except she doesn't want you looking through her phone and she gets annoyed with you when you're clingy. The only rent she pays you is to, on occasion, tell you how awesome you are.

Again, I am sorry, and you seem like a nice guy, but she is playing you for a chump. I have no idea why you would want such a manipulative person back as a romantic partner. Grab the newspaper and give her the apartments to let section and tell her to use it.

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What do you want from this 21 year old girl?

Clearly, she is not ready to make a commitment to one man. Even you. She has a lot more to experience and knows that she needs to find out what else is there.

You are a 27 year old man, who is just now maturing. You seem ready to settle down in a relationship, but you aren't even ready now. You don't have what is needed: a clear direction in your education and career goal. I think that's what she is trying to tell you. This is an important element missing, according to her.

You can tell her you want another "level" in the relationship, but she is not ready and she thinks you are not ready.

You are going to have to decide if you have the time and skills to want to be in this role of "friend" until you get a career and job, thus meeting her "qualifications.'

In the meantime, she is taking up your time, home and bed.

Tough call, but her actions indicate she is getting restless.

And you are going to end up feeling used, for sure.

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Nobody is anyone's everything.

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@ossobuco,

Ok, so last night something weird happened, we had amazing sex and she was in shock, before that she said she was moving out next week to her dads place, so we watched the super bowl together then I just thought to myself damn shes really leaving and was kinda suppressing how torn I was inside and out of nowhere she's like "I'm horny" after watching Hernandez from the Pats run around, so I made a move. She said afterwards no strings but who knows what she is thinking now she has a thing for saying crap she doesn't mean at times. I think it was the best sex we've had in a very long time..

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@SteMan,

Steman,

You know "chemistry" can be an amazing thing but it sometimes stops there.

She wanted you to change, have ambition, make "money", and so you now have two jobs, and school.. Have you not made the change that she wanted?

She loved with you, now going to her Dad's.. You let her use your car, let her have male friends, let her stay with you whilst broken up but allow her to have sex with you because she is horny, let her eat your food, probably use your electricity, water, pays nothing right?

I know at 27 it would be great to find your dream girl. But, don't you want one that pays her way, that doesn't keep putting you down, or using your money, petrol, wear and tear, and the house, everything?

Don't you see that the second job, is not about ambition to her, it's about how much money she can spend. She is high maintenance, she is self obsorbed.

You could find a million women like this that will reel you in and let you go as long as you give, and obviously you are good in bed:)

Is this what you really want? Or can you look at yourself in that mirror and say I deserve better, actually.

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Don't waste your breath, people - he's not listening. He was given advice, but all he did was come back and post that sex post...no response to you at all. He doesn't really want your advice if it doesn't jive with his.

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@Mame,

Not true at all actually, I've been feeling a bit of resentment building towards her for what I sacrifice and what I get in return. Its not easy at all for me because like most humans we can't stand rejection, nor can I, I still love her and care for her but if she cant return my feelings I feel like I should stop trying. I've been busy the past couple of days actually not ignoring anyone's posts, she fell down the stairs so I picked her up and brought her to the hospital, let it be known how good of a guy I was to her. She told me the other day she'd wanna marry me but right now she wants to see what else is out there and have fun, basically wants to come back to me when its convenient for her.

Yea I had a problem similar to this a while ago but I was not so "In love" I let her go she found a guy she thought she truly loved the guy ended up beating her and abusing/stalking her, why are people so blind sometimes, because I think I'm contracting the blindness. Thanks for posting, It means alot.

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@SteMan,

Steman,

There are "types" in this World. Yes, you are a nice guy but obviously, the women you are choosing, are either materialistic, young, or prefer the "bad" guy.

Why not aim at a real woman? One who is older than you, or your age, instead of a 21 year old who obviously has no idea what the true word love means?

You'd more than likely find she'd love the little things you do and she more than likely will have her own pad as well, and more morals.

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You said: "She told me the other day she'd wanna marry me but right now she wants to see what else is out there and have fun, basically wants to come back to me when its convenient for her."

She CAN'T give you what you want (a committed relationship) so why keep hanging on?

Oh, I forgot, it's the "great sex."

So that's what it is. Nothing more.

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What should I do, shes my everything.

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