Craig, I grew up thinking my mother didn't want me, so I know how you feel. Many times I cried wondering why my mother didn't love me or my brother. My husband tells me I am still bothered by the fact that I was abandoned as a small child of five by her, but I try not to think about it too much. I guess something like that affects you more than you want to believe. You want to know something very odd? My mother is your grandmother (Juanita)! Now doesn't that just beat all? Good luck on your search and God bless.