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Mon 26 Jan, 2004 09:02 pm
Classes for men at the local Learning Center for Adults
- Sign-up by Jan. 30th -
NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.
TOPIC 1 HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step, with slide presentation.
TOPIC 2 THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Round table discussion.
TOPIC 3 IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB? Group Practice.
TOPIC 4 FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
TOPIC 5 THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK? Examples on Video.
TOPIC 6 LOSS OF IDENTITY : LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT. Help line support and support groups.
TOPIC 7 LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. Open forum.
TOPIC 8 HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. Graphics and audio tape.
TOPIC 9 REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. Real life testimonials.
TOPIC 10 IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation.
TOPIC 11 LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH OTHERS. Online classes and role playing.
TOPIC 12 HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
TOPIC 13 HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
TOPIC 14 CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS: Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong so that they can be easily found.
Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any survivors.
These are quite funny...I can't believe my husband is only guilty of number 6.
In Interest of Equality I would propose classes for Women....
1. LIVING WITH LESS THAN 31 PAIRS OF SHOES. Practice will be given wearing one pair of shoes two days in the same month.
2. CREDIT CARDS ARENT FREE MONEY. Discussion and a field trip to a bank to show that when you spend money, someone needs to pay it back often with interest.
3. PUTTING DOWN THE TOILET SEAT: A SELF HELP COURSE. Laboratory excersize to show that what practice, it's not a big deal.
4. TIME MANAGEMENT. Why fixing the table right now is not more important than the Superbowl.
5. DRIVERS ED. 'nuff said.
6. PSYCHOLOGY: How you can resolve problems with your partner and get on with your life in one day.
7. ECONOMICS: When something is on sale, you don't lose money by not buying it.
8. RELAXATION. One small piece of lint in a corner of the closet says nothing about your worth as a human being or the love your spouse and children have for you.
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