I've known him all my life...I can't cope with...

I’m 23. He is 30.
Now I feel myself so depressed and I need support and help.
I’ve known him for all my live about 8 years. We were friends than was like a couple then separate again and together. He had difficult life. He had almost married but something happened. They had a baby but he died after 2 months. That time I was with him I was a pillow I was with him and after two years everything became better. We had relationship again but he cheated on me, he met with the girl and with me together about half a year. She wasn’t serious for him and when I known about her he stayed with me and said for her « sorry, any way we have different tempers» Since then he haven’t talked with her.
It seems that everything is perfect he tell me about our New Year trip every day comes to me but some times something strange happens. He can disappear on one weekend without explanation or to say that «my phone is run out of battery» but then he comes and everything is all right.
I can’t be without him. I am used to be with him.
Last time this weekend he promised me to come. He called me and said « My battery is low I switch off my mobile and then I will call you» I called him then his cell-phone was ok but he didn’t answer. I sent him sms then called one more time and another sms. He didn’t come.He didn’t call he didn’t text.
On the next day he wrote me message « ow..I suppose my phone was switch off and I left it in my bag and I didn’t here that you called me”

No apologies, no explanations….. everything is ok.
I don’t think so….I feel so depressed I don’t know what to do. I don’t believe him but I can’t prove anything. I am tearing into peaces.