Handling a Breakup and Self Doubt-Please Help!

Ok so this is going to sound silly but I had been dating this guy for 2 months and we just recently split. Well, he split with me. I am feeling absolutely devastated. He said he needed to cut me out of his life in order to get himself to a better place. He is currently separated but not divorced. We met online, not too long after he had moved out of the house with his wife (even though the relationship had been pretty much done for several months). We immediatley clicked and I was drawn to him because yes I found him attractive but he also had such a passion in him. He did also have some mystery that I could never put my finger on. Anyhow, he was taken with me in that he said he absolutely loved my face and thought I was so beautiful and was amazed at how much expression I did have on my face. We never were "official" but we were definetly in some sort of relationship. He would always say we need to be careful and not go to fast but his actions spoke so differently. He would spend the night with me 3 nights a week and say things like "I feel like I can't get close enough to you" or "Why is it that when I am with you I am never worried about what I have to do, I am always thinking about what WE are going to do next". He said soooo many things that tugged at my heart strings. But in the same we struggled very early on. He was still battling with his wife and dealing with all of their financial stuff and her "needing" him. I know he even went out on a couple of dates while we were "together" and to be honest a part of me thinks this is why he wanted to cut me out of his life. It was seriously this huge mess because the way this man looked at me and the things he said were nothing I had never heard and maybe I am stupid but I believed them. He told me he was afraid. And a part of me thinks he was afraid of falling hard for me because the time was not right. I felt like he was trying to intentionally push me out of his life. Anyhow, I could go on and on but I am tearing myself up wondering if any of the situation was genuine. Was this man telling me the truth at all. I cared about him a lot and I tried and tried and we both played off of each others vulnerabilities but come the end of the day I cared about him as a person. I am destroyed because he just chose to cut me out of his life (very suddenly) completely.

I deal with anxiety and have just started seeking counseling. This entire "break-up' happened a week ago and in some ways I saw it as inevitable but when it did come it hit me like a ton of bricks and now I feel like I am so far down in the hole that I can't see the light. I deal with a lot of self-esteem and self-confidence issues (which is why I am seeking therapy) and I am trying like hell to get back to a happy place. I have lost 60 lbs since 2009 and have about 35-40 more to go but I still completely struggle with my body. Self doubt has taken over my life and it overwhelms me and embarasses me and makes me feel absolutely ashamed and angry. People will tell me all of the time to just get over it and in my head that is all that I want in the whole wide world. I want to look at myself in the mirror and believe that I am beautiful and wonderful and have so much to offer to the world. This struggle has been going on for more years than I can count and I need to take a handle on my life, but I also need as much advice as I can get. I do not have a lot of friends where I live. Most are married and some I just don't feel comfortable talking to.

Anyhow, I am writing to ask for help in any way, shape or form. I am trying to push myself as hard as possible and try to push this man out of my head but it is difficult right now.