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Thoughts/comments/edits on this letter to my friend

 
 
Reply Sun 23 Oct, 2011 09:46 pm
Dear (female friend)*,

I value our friendship more than you could ever know. However, I don't feel like I have treated you in a way that reflects that.

I feel as though there was this short period in time where I was truly myself around you. I was genuine and care free. During this time I got to show you very briefly who I really am. But then I suffered through one of the worst times in my life. Everything was going wrong. More than I ever shared with you.

Losing my best friend was a hard blow and I only found solace in talking with you. I understand now how selfish this was. It was truly unfair of me to pawn off all of my problems on you. No matter how many times you said it was okay, I know that it wasn't. I treated you like a dart board at which I threw all of my petty problems. You deserve much more than that.

I've said this before but if you and I weren't friends I honestly don't know what I would do. In the short time we have known each other you have helped me through so much. I have shared more with you in the past few months than I have with people I have known for years. I don't know why but I feel like I can be open around you. You make me strive to be the best person I can be.

It is so unfortunate that a tough streak in my life came around and no doubt provided you with a second opinion of me. I acted like an annoying, immature child and I wish I could take it all back. I am writing this because I fear my actions have caused me to lose a friend I hold so dear.

I would like you to know that I am getting better each day. And while I may not be completely over what has happened, I have accepted the fact that there is nothing I could have done. I trust God to help me through my situations. He has truly provided for me these past few weeks but I've been so caught up in the bad I refused to see the good.

I deeply apologize for all that's happened. I pray we can put all this behind us and go back to how it used to be. I pray to God every night, thanking Him for the people he has put in my life. I just hope I have not taken what He's given me for granted.

Thank you so much for being there for me, even when I didn't deserve it.
--(me)

*didn't know if it mattered that I am a guy writing this to a friend of mine who is a girl but I threw it in there anyway.

Additional Details

We have only known each other for about two months in case that matters. Just seems like we've been getting less and less close as opposed to how we were the first month of knowing each other. I lost my best friend and it took a tole on me. Just some more info as to the context.

Really just wanted to know if it was too much too soon. Like I said, we've only known each other for about two months.
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jespah
 
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Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2011 03:57 am
It probably was too much too soon (without more context, it's tough to tell from here). I mean, if I were her, and a guy I'd known for a month or two began to spill everything to me, I would back off as it would freak me out a bit. I would wonder if he wanted a romance, etc., for starters. Despite the mourning for the other friend part, etc. It would just feel ... off-kilter.

I think it's a kind letter, I think you're trying. But I imagine that she felt she was a repository for a lot more than was probably warranted at the time, at least on her end.
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FOUND SOUL
 
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Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2011 02:27 pm
@TheAceConvict,
I believe, people come into our lives for a reason, they don't always stay and she was there when you needed someone, that's a gift.

It can be totally overwhelming, listening to so much pain, negativity that sometimes people "have" to withdraw for sanity.

You say you don't deserve her, yes you do, did, she came into your life.

A card, a simple "thank you for all you are, I needed you there and you were, keep in touch"

Is probably all you need...

It sounds as if you "need" someone still there for you as you are not coping, maybe take that off of "friends" and their shoulders that are new to you, and seek someone outside that can help you grieve.

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