Random thoughts

Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls...

Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How'd that work out for him?...


I don't get nervous if I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I know they're all too busy hating each other to notice me...

I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire...

My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."...


I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
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With thoughts like these, does this mean I have to much free time at work?