Kindred Spirits

I have. A couple of times. I was 19 years old and I was dating a guy. This cute new thing comes into town and said guy falls head over heels for chicky baby. She made me want to vomit. For better or for worse we were going to be around each other because my friends were his friends and she and he did things with me and my friends so I asked her to go somewhere with me. My reasoning was - if I could find something I liked about her, I could get over that vomitous feeling I had every time I looked at her. We went out to eat and started talking - it was awkward at first - but before the night was over, it was like I had found a long lost sister. Maid of Honor at my wedding and still my best friend to this day. I think that guy lives around here somewhere...maybe. Amazing to me.

I had a shift in work loads a few weeks ago. My manager quit and they decided not to hire a manager but to hire a network developer instead. She and I would share the same office my manager and I did. I was concerned. I have a tendency to be a little quiet initially when around folks I don't know well. But I dont' know why I was ever concerned. She is wonderful! We are going to have to buy a divider so we will quit talking to each other and get some work done. She and I have the same blogging style, our kids go to the same schools, play at the same parks, we believe the same, we just....clicked. LOVE having her to work with. Such a happy thing.

And I absolutely love the term "kindred spirits"

You described it perfectly, mismi -- it's like finding a sister.

The great thing about sisters is that they know so much about you, about how you came to be you, that you don't have to spend much time explaining.

It's fun to meet someone and have the conversation revolve around "Me too!"

My kindred spirit is a gay man. The minute we met, we attracted each other like magnets. We laugh at the same things,cry at the same things. He lives in England now, but we're still connected just as firmly.

Yes.

I miss her.

That said, an unlikely person keeps revealing herself to be kindred-er and kindred-er -- she's a pastor, and married to a Republican (she isn't, though), but we spend a lot of time saying "YES" and "Oh I know" and, as you say, "me too!" The most recent one was funny, as we were talking about male and female communication styles (you guys have seen me talk about this before) and I said, as I have a billion times, "Have you heard of Deborah Tannen?" and she said, as no-one ever does, "YES, I love her book 'You Just Don't Understand'!" And we quoted it merrily at each other for a while. That was fun.

Plus she's a big fan of Atul Gawande. I think those are the two people I quote the most that people in general have never heard of.

Plus, at a more meta level, the whole "have you heard of" or "have you read" thing comes up a lot with us -- we often HAVE heard of and HAVE read, but that type of two-way conversation is rare.

Before I met my husband I was seeing a guy that I met while working. A friend of mine had a party for New Years and the guy I was dating brought a group of friends. I ended up spending most of the night talking to his friend that he brought. I always say that he is the male version of me.

He and I have stayed in touch since I stopped seeing his friend 6 years ago. He recently moved across the country to CA and we don't talk much but I could spend hours talking to him, the similiarity's are uncanny.

Now I shall send him an email to see how he is doing, lol!

I always felt that leonabanks was a kindred spirit of mine.

Great thead, Boom. I've told the story in bits and pieces over the years. I recently told about it in a thread of yours on children being held back. My friend from the first grade was held back. He and i were so close, we didn't have the "oh, i know what you mean" thing going on--we hardly had to talk at all, because we knew one another's minds so well.

When i was 27 (him, too, he was born two days after i was), i picked up a newspaper while i was waiting for my grandmother to get ready to go to the store. I was idly leafing through the paper and saw his name. It was in the obituary section. He had been found dead in the cab of his truck, and the coroner had been unable to find a cause of death.

Lord - that is heart breaking Set.

I have even found folks on line I am kindred spirits with. Izzie being one of them. Feel like I know her - have known her forever. That REALLY amazes me.

I don't know that i've necessarily found a kindred spirit online, but i've found so many people i've "clicked with" online. You know, Miss Mi, the likelihood of finding someone sympathetic is probably much higher online than in our quotidian livs.

Now there's a word I've never encountered before.

It was avoiding you.

On a daily basis.

Not sure if it completely kindred spirits, but I've had people out of the blue, just walking down the street, or in a store, that I've never met before tell me very personal things.

I was at a store like a CVS with one of my daughters. This older woman (not old, but old enough to be a young grandmom) came up to me and starting talking to me. I think maybe my young daughter attracted her at first. Then before you know it, she is telling me all about her daughter who has cancer and how is she getting better and stuff like that. I've never seen this woman or talked with her before.

Another occassion, I am walking to work and this woman walking never just hung up from her cell phone. We begin small talk - like hurrying to get to work on time, a bit behind, traffic that kind of crap. Then she starts telling me about a boy in her son's class that she is worried may be a victim of a pedophile and she doesn't know how to approach this - as it is only a guess.

Set wrote:


I agree Set. But I really don't share as much with folks in general as I may online. And really not very much online either. I usually have my couple of friends I share the hard stuff with. The rest - I just interact with on a much shallower level. Too exhausting to put all that stuff out there.

Ah hell - that's not true. It's out there if they want to see it. I just choose not to waller in it too much. And it depends on my mood....sometimes one needs a good waller.

I have used it fairly often since I learned its meaning, back when. With my sometimes foolish verbiage, it adds a level of snottiness I don't mean to the welter of other impressions people get.

I think people famously spill their guts on long train rides and similar situations, to people they'll never see again or at least never be associates - that is my own experience and I've also read about it. I'm guessing that this is a well described phenomenon.

I think the internet is much like that too Osso. I have found it an odd phenomenon for myself. But also a big learning experience - my behavior has changed quite a bit over the last how ever many years I have been on A2K.

Initially - I think I treated folks like they were not real. There was a sterility and black and whiteness to my thinking. That brought the feeling that these folks don't really know me so I can just say whatever I want to and it doesn't really matter.

Then came the realization that these folks are real. And what I said did matter. The world became smaller and real life and A2K suddenly seemed not so far apart. Some folks are worth the effort and time and some just aren't. Just like here in my own 3D stomping grounds.

Nods.

Interesting kindred spirit update -- several of you have probably seen my thread about plans for sozlet's 11th birthday (Harry Potter surprise + trip -- it's her 11th birthday).

I got my friend mentioned above alone recently and told her, as I thought she'd appreciate it. She sort of did and sort of didn't. As she had been planning the exact same thing for HER daughter's 11th birthday, in May! She'd been thinking of asking us (whole family, the girls are good friends) to go along!

So I felt a little bad but tickets have been bought, reservations made, etc. I'm hoping that this will just whet sozlet's friend C's appetite for something like this and make her that much happier when she gets her own version. But I thought it was funny that we had exactly the same idea.