Please help, both married for over 20 yrs now having an affair together

I'm not so sure I understand you. You say you met a woman and then you also say you have known her for 12 years. Met implies that you just met her. I take it you didn't mean that and that's just poor writing on your part. Is that correct?

So, you've known this gal for a dozen years and suddenly - what the heck happens? Why did things change? Or, more likely, what changed around you that pushed you both to an affair?

Also, how old are the kids? I guarantee they will figure out (as will the Albanian husband) that something is going on. They may not know what, but they will know there is something.

Yeah here's my insight/advice:

Deal with your first relationship before you get into/deal with your second. What's wrong with you??

you got bigger problems than her . . .

A mad Albanian husband is something to fear.

Zip your pants, lips and mind - and find out what's wrong with your marriage, making you go after a married woman!!

Tex, ask yourself, if your children found out about the affair how would they view you, how would her children view her?

Then ask yourself, did you talk about your wife the same way, some 20 odd years ago?

And lastly, ask yourself, your wife finds out, she moves on, finds an adorable, sexy man, and starts climbing the walls with passion, did you miss out on something? With your own wife?

Chemistry, lust, emotional connections are usually founded because you missed something - relationships take work, alot of work, and it never stops, if you guys stopped it somewhere down the track, shouldn't you both have tried to recover it first? And, if un-recoverable accept we don't always get it right and walk?

Your kids both of you, are old enough to understand Divorce and that it happens.

You know your wife, reminise of the beginning and ask if it could come back, you don't know this woman, you know her in passion and now in lust and emotionally...How do you know in 10 years time, that that relationship ends up just like the one you are currently in, because you never really "tried" to work hard at it...(takes two) not saying you only...

And the previous poster is right, your playing with fire, you live in the same street, one day you aren't going to be able to sleep at night through fear...

Lastly, I soooo hope you are not still sleeping with your wife, that's degrading her...

Time to take a serious look at this situation.

Bullseye! Albanians are better at carrying a grudge than a Sicillian, and twice as vengeful.