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Wed 14 Jan, 2004 10:47 am
I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and 1/2 years. We moved in together last May. Before we moved in together he told me he had cheated on me (but he told me right a way - the day after it happened) With this he said he did not continue w/ what they were doing because being with this girl made him notice he was falling in love with me. I forgave him. Why, I honestly don't know.
Also when we had first started seeing each other he was seeing another girl - maybe the first week or two that we were just hanging out together (not dating) But I was still around him when he invited me over - which I thought was quite often, but he still found time for this other girl.
Then, about 3-4 months ago my girl friend called me and asked me where my Boyfriend had been the night before & I told her he went to sleep with me - so he had been at home. Then she informs me that he was actually at his ex-girlfriend's (of 3 yrs - broke up with her month or two b4 we started dating) house at 2 o'clock in the morning!
He admitted to this - and said he couldn't sleep & she had spread a rumor about him saying something he didnt - so he was SO mad he had to go to her apt. and talk to her about it. I heard the rumor a few weeks b4 this had happened - but I find his story a little [/I]weird Why did he have to go there at 2am?????
Any way - this all bothers me - I am not sure if it is me & my trust issues -but I DO love him & he is not all bad - though other things about him bother me (lack of kisses, hugs, flowers, romance) - Does anyone have any kind of advice - maybe a way I could talk to him about this w/o him feeling like I am throwing it in his face? Or a way I can get over my trust issues - Or does it even sound like it is worth it? *Open to all and any advice*
Thanx - Confused
Sorry but something stinks in Peoria. A guy doesn't get out of bed (especially one that his current g/f is sleeping in) at 2am and go visit anyone just to "talk".
Doesn't sound good to me, Confused82. Not good at all.
That is what I thought & when we argued over this he sat on the couch and laughed at me! I was SO mad!
Tell him you are joining the Lorena Bobbitt fan club and can you borrow some money to pay your membership fee.
Or, rent the movie, fatal attraction, and mumble through it how the wife should have been the one hacking and slashing.
After watching this movie and the conversation about the fan club, let him catch you watching him at times when you are eating together or watching TV or whenever and when he asks you "what?", say "nothing, never mind".
Cute, Heeven.
Confused82, the guy has a history of being with 2 women at once (not for 3somes, you know what I mean). He doesn't appear to have changed. Want to add more complications to this, like being dependent upon him for half the rent? And, you say you have other dissatisfactions in the relationship. He seems to be distant. No wonder, if he's off to "talk" (wink wink) to other women at all hours.
Run, don't walk, away from this relationship. You can do better.
Thanks for the input - Heeven I will keep your post for feature reference :0) lol - I know it sounds horrible - I think it sounds worse than it really is though. And this may sound silly, but I am going to feel bad leaving him on his own - he can't afford to live on his own. Sigh..... I still have a lot of thinking to do on this, but I definately appreciate the posts today - thanks!
It sounds worse than it is? He's getting out of bed in the middle of the night to 'talk' to an ex and then laughs in your face about it - but, c'mon, it's really not that bad, right?
If it were me, the best part about it would be knowing that he's too broke to live on his own when I kick his butt out the door. You'd hear me laughing all the way to his "ex-girlfriend's" house.
You met a cheat. You started dating a cheat and now you live with a cheat. Anyway you slice it, he's still a cheat. And laughing at you when you got mad about it just makes him an a$$hole on top of it.
Stop caring about his feelings. It sounds like he's got other women in the wings waiting to dry his tears.
Confused--
Ditch the spinmeister. You are supposed to feel guilty for not trusting a two-timing man? Sure, it is All Your Fault.
This is a great relationship for him--he cheats and you have to carry the guilt!
Next he'll be telling you that you don't "meet his needs"--but I bet he'll continue letting you do his laundry.
Do you like suffering?
Run like the wind. Don't waste anymore of your time and feelings on this ass.
Yep, dump the a$$-hole, any guy that would do that or anything remotely close to that does not deserve you. You are a woman, stand your ground and boot him out, and remember, "there are plenty of fish in the sea".
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, and it does sound worse than it is. Maybe that is because I always brush it off as nothing & hearing it through others kind of opens ur eyes to things you were blinding yourself from.
Maybe I'm a weird guy, but I would leave my apt. at 2 am to talk to my ex if something was really pissing me off. I'm not saying he's innocent, but I think that figuring that out is important.
This is the way I look at it If someone is going to cheat on you babe that means they feel there is something better out there or thier just not content with you! You sound like a very sweet person, you need to leave this guy and find someone that can respect you!
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