Tue 2 Aug, 2011 11:58 am
Do you have a good relationship with them or is it hard to be around them?
I was sexually abused, molested, raped, whatever you want to call it, when I was just 5 years old. It ended a little while after I turned 12, around the time I got my period. I guess I wasn't a 'little girl' anymore and my abuser lost interest. Anyway, I'm 18 now and that has stuck with me my entire life. It has had an astounding affect on my life. I had trouble connecting with people when I was younger. I trusted no one, I felt unloved, like I didn't deserve to be loved. I was a suicidal 9 year old at one point and I wouldnt have gotten through it if it wasn't for my older sister who was just a kid herself at the time. Ive always blamed my parents for what happened to me. It was a friend of theirs that abused me and Ive always hated my parents because I felt like they didn't protect me. At 9 years old I remember looking at my mother and thinking 'How could you let him do this me. Why can't you see that he's hurting me. Why won't you protect me, why don't you love me?'
So, I've always hated me parents. I took all my anger out on them and pushed them away. I've always wondered about how other people are with their parents. Sorry about my venting, but I'm really curious. What's your relationship like?
You and my 82 year old mother have a very similar history of childhood rape. She's also a member here so I'll see if she's willing to talk about this with you.
Kay - sorry to hear about your early childhood. Sorry that you were let down by your parent(s).
My folks were alcoholic. You would have never known it. We were the "Cleavers" only my folks were smashed every night. My mom wore a dress every day and my dad was in a shirt and tie. William Penn was at our table every night.
Still, there were some good times in the family. We went to the best schools and lived in a great neighborhood. I credit my 2nd and 4th grade teachers and some neignborhood kids and their families for getting me through those early years. My brother, however, suffered. He had a genius IQ but flunked every class all throughout school. He is an alcoholic and pot smoker now, at age 65.
I was very angry at my parents for a long while until I found out how they were raised. They didn't have a chance in hell to learn how to be good parents and live without alcohol.
I now have compassionate feelings for them after all these years.