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Would you all be able to check/correct the small text below for me?

 
 
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2011 10:39 am
Hello all English teachers,

I really hope I have posted on the right thread. Would you all be able to proof read the statement below for me? Thank you very much in advance.





We are very proud to be partner with Mr Ken, a Japanese famous photographer, to distribute his camera in Iceland.

Mr Ken is a well known professional photographer for his ability to shoot anything his clients want , hence being call a multishooting photographer in Japan. He is famous as a film camera lover who is skillful in camera restoration particular in Ricoh Auto Half. Because of this passion, he published two books to share his immense knowledge of these cameres and being interview by NHK TV in 2010. The best is , some of the photos in his book is taken in Iceland !! . Mr Ken has told me personally that he likes Iceland a lot.

Mr Ken started working at Yashica after he graduateed from Tokyo
Photography College in 1967, and moved on to Magazinehouse Co Ltd. as fashion photographer on 1969 until 2003. Mr Ken has also been involved in photographing many famous actresses such as Anita Briem.

Mr Ken is also famous with his DIGITAL Ricoh Auto Half. Yes, you didn't get me wrong, it's a DIGITAL which was handmade by Mr Ken . These cameras are made by Mr Ken himself. The camera is a vintage body from 1960 and embedded with a Digital body. All these cameras come in very nice color and all are made by Mr Ken himself.

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 639 • Replies: 3
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2011 02:33 pm
@koalachan,
koalachan wrote:

Hello all English teachers,

I really hope I have posted on the right thread. Would you all be able to proof read the statement below for me? Thank you very much in advance.





We are very proud to be partnered with Mr Ken, a Japanese famous photographer, here to distribute his camera in Iceland.

Mr Ken is a well known professional photographer famous for his ability to shoot anything his clients want , hence being called a multishooting photographer in Japan. He is famous as a film camera lover who is skillful in camera restoration, in particular [deleted} the Ricoh Auto Half. Because of this passion, he published two books to share his immense knowledge of these cameres and is being interviewed by NHK TV in 2010. The best part is , some of the photos in his book is taken in Iceland ! [delete one exclamation and the period] Mr Ken has told me personally that he likes Iceland a lot.

Mr Ken started working at Yashica after he graduateed from Tokyo
Photography College in 1967, and moved on to Magazinehouse Co Ltd. as fashion photographer on 1969 until 2003. Mr Ken has also been involved in photographing many famous actresses such as Anita Briem.

Mr Ken is also famous with his DIGITAL Ricoh Auto Half. Yes, you didn't get me wrong, it's a DIGITAL which was handmade by Mr Ken . These cameras are made by Mr Ken himself. The camera is a vintage body from 1960 and embedded with a Digital body. All these cameras come in very nice color and all are made by Mr Ken himself.


That's the best I can do. Maybe someone else will jump in with other suggestions.
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2011 03:05 pm
@koalachan,
As a former technical writer and a professional photographer, I'll try to assist the best way I can. My suggestions in some cases are subjective style choices, but mainly I've made them so as to fix grammar and correct usage. You've done pretty well; however, some of your text is redundant and some of it is unclear (I'll note what and where). For example, as a photographer and lifetime writer of English, I cannot understand the usage of your term multishooting. After all, all photographers are multi-shooters:

We are very proud to be in partnership with Mr Ken, a famous
Japanese photographer, to distribute his camera in Iceland. Mr Ken
is a well known professional photographer. He is known in Japan
for his ability to shoot anything his clients want, hence being called a multishooting (multi-industry or multi-genre might one of these be the meaning you seek?) photographer.

His reputation and history exists as a film camera lover who is also skillful in camera restoration, particular on the Ricoh Auto Half. Because of this passion, he published two books to share his immense knowledge of these cameres and was interviewed by NHK TV in 2010. Most interesting is that some of the photos in his book are taken in Iceland! He has told me personally that he likes Iceland a lot.

Mr Ken started working at Yashica after he graduated (spelling correction ...an extra letter e) from Tokyo
Photography College in 1967. After his graduation, from 1969 until 2003, he moved on to Magazinehouse Co Ltd. as fashion photographer. He has also been involved in photographing many famous actresses, such as Anita Briem.

Mr Ken is also famous with his DIGITAL Ricoh Auto Half. Yes, you didn't read me wrong, it's a DIGITAL camera, which he handmade. He redesigned this camera using a vintage Ricoh Auto Half body manfuactured in 1960 and embedded it with a Digital sensor element. All of these cameras come stocked in very attractive colors and all are handmade by Mr Ken.

Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2011 03:24 pm
@Ragman,
Sorry - here are my self-corrections: that word should read particularly on the Ricoh Auto Half"", not particular. Also, pardon my spelling error, as it should read, "knowledge of these cameras" , not cameres.
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