The teletubbies
Could stand to lose a few pounds--
Cut out the sugar
Cut out the sugar.
Eat fresh fruit direct from trees,
very much healthier.
Very much healthier,
I left the hospital with
My money removed
My money removed
By a crafty pickpocket,
I had to hitch home
I had to hitch home.
What unfortunate event,
Do you need some help?
Do you need some help?
Here, let me get that for you.
Drops the groceries.
Drops the groceries;
Clasps her in his arms, saying:
"Thank God you're here, mom."
Thank God you're here, mom,
The kids are climbing the walls--
Take them off my hands
Take them off my hands,
the thorns from the cute little
cactus that I pet.
<based on a true story>
Cactus that I pet
Have taught me some hard lessons.
Always wear thick gloves.
Always wear thick gloves.
Certainly cold this morning,
down to almost nought.
Down to almost nought
Is my available cash--
Time to rob a bank?
Time to rob a bank?
Do not even think about it,
you will be sorry.
You will be sorry,
If you eat that bag of chips,
When you weigh yourself
When you weigh yourself
Don't choose a machine which says
"Ouch! Get off my foot!"
"Ouch! Get off my foot!"
Sadly, Circus elephant
Only speaks peanuts.
Only speaks, "Peanuts?"
Rather strange for a parrot--
It's driving me nuts
Make from a lady's
Shawl a table covering,
That's real recycling
That's real recycling:
Turning cheating lover to
Gardening compost
