May 21ST.

He was robbed . . . a grand? I don't think so . . . she's just not that hot . . .

I just might go out and doing something totally ******* crazy. Like tell the people I love how much they mean to me. Something batshit like that.

duh, he have her a fake cashiers check for $1400, and she have him back $400 in cash.

Later he says "This is the best date ever"

I stopped flossing 3 nights ago.

Craigslist ad:

Ewwwwwwwww . . . good idea, though . . .

If the day comes and nobody is deemed worthy, will the world go on as before, for the time being?

Silly Edgar! Everyone knows that at least Set of all people is on the way to ascension.

He is as worthy as anybody I could name.

It's hard to tell what the hierarchy will be...all theists...or all Christians...or just certain Christians? They're not really saying, now are they?

The CDC website says we'll have to deal with the Zombie hoardes in the aftermath, but they've got it covered. Ha! Anyone who's seen The Walking Dead (great series btw) knows they'll be the first to go!

I plan to start watching for locusts tomorrow. Then, Saturday I'll barricade the door. Right after I return all my library books.

May 20TH. Today may be the last full day of the rest of your life.

If i get raptured, i'll be seriously pissed. I'll be goddamned if i'll spend eternity singing the praises of some egomaniac god . . .



. . . wait a minute . . .

This might belong on the "Stupid Meteorology" thread...

Pussy

HEY!!!!

that made my day and I've passed it along.... truly, truly funny.

Yanno, I am thinkin' we can get out of our next mortgage payment.

I don't think it quite works that way, the way I read it is the "God Squad"
will be taken by their Governor, while the rest of us "heathens" will be left
behind to rough it for a while. Maybe thats our heaven.
Thats according to the "Buy Bull".
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Christ will remove all born-again believers who are part of the Church (New Testament saints) from the earth by an event known as the Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; 1 Corinthians 15:51ff). These believers will be rewarded for good works and service during their time on earth at the Judgment Seat of Christ or will lose rewards, but not eternal life, for lack of service and obedience (1 Corinthians 3:11-15; 2 Corinthians 5:10).

The antichrist antichrist (beast) will come into power and sign a peace pact (covenant) with Israel for seven years (Daniel 9:27). This seven-year period of time is known as the Tribulation. During the tribulation, there will be terrible wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters. God will be pouring out His wrath against sin, evil, and wickedness. The tribulation will include the appearance of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and the seven seal, trumpet, and bowl judgments.

About halfway through the seven years, the antichrist will break the peace covenant with Israel and make war against them. The antichrist will perform the abomination of desolation and set up an image of himself to be worshipped in the temple (Daniel 9:27; 2 Thessalonians 2:3-10). The second half of the tribulation is known as “the great tribulation” (Revelation 7:14) and “the time of Jacob’s trouble” (Jeremiah 30:7).

At the end of the seven-year tribulation, the antichrist will launch a final attack on Jerusalem, culminating in the Battle of Armageddon. Jesus Christ will return, destroy the antichrist and his armies and cast them into the lake of fire (Revelation 19:11-21). Christ will then bind Satan in the Abyss for 1000 years and will rule His earthly kingdom for this thousand-year period (Revelation 20:1-6).

At the end of the thousand years, Satan is will be released, defeated again, and then cast into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:7-10). Christ then judges all unbelievers (Revelation 20:10-15) at the Great White Throne Judgment, casting them all into the lake of fire. Christ will then usher in a New Heaven and New Earth and the New Jerusalem—the eternal dwelling place of believers. There will be no more sin, sorrow, or death (Revelation chapters 21-22).

It should start,
Once upon a time in a land far far away...............

The thing that's hilarious about all this rapture stuff is not that it's a fairy tale.... after all NO ONE knows at this point where spiritual fact and fiction begin and end.... if there's a God or not.... if Christ is a living deity or a dead nut job... what's funny is the colossal conceit and idiocy of those who claim to know and state their opinions as fact. Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, et al... get over yourselves. We're not that important. What's important is how we conduct ourselves and treat others while we're here. the rest will take care of itself.

Kindred spirit Let's not get all crazy, though, and think we won't have to pay our income tax.