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Getting over a crappy friendship, not feeling guilty?

 
 
Reply Tue 3 May, 2011 10:37 pm
I know this friendship will never be (I will never trust her again), I just look at the group photos and feel upset. I believe strongly that this friend lied about being very sick with cancer (she never looked very sick and supposedly the cancer was in its last stage, there was a woman with brain cancer in my church and big difference btw my "sick" friend and her, even my parents were doubtful when they saw her). I fell for it and began really praying for her and trying to be there for her, she took advantage of that. At the start of the semester she started pretty much ignoring me (we have no classes together). She would invite her other friend (my friend too) out many times, with me only about once a month even then she was distant and didn't really seem to care about seeing me. Last semester she promised to see me at lunch many times then would bail without a word.
She told me that this girl was her best friend and that's why she hung out with her so much (I think if you have friends, you will always hang out with them especially if you consider them a good friend). I feel like she always tried to rub this in my face by being nicer and more closer to her. Anyways she got really upset that I mentioned feeling unwanted somewhere online (not on FB and nowhere where our friends could see it). Right away she deleted me from FB (we didn't even have a fight), she didn't even try to talk to me before she did this and she has tried to reach me, I have ignored all her calls. In her FB message she said that we should not have contact for awhile (for me this is permanent cause I'm sick of this crap). I don't even know how I feel. What are your suggestions? (btw I am not needy, If someone calls me their friend they damn well better act like my friend, plus I already gave up on her contact long before she deleted me).
I always chalked up her not contacting me as her not feeling well, but as soon as I saw that most likely she was BSing I knew I had picked the wrong type of friend.
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jespah
 
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Reply Wed 4 May, 2011 05:41 am
@TakingItToHeart,
Not feeling guilty - are you feeling guilty for that, for not being more affected?

I think you're handling this just fine. No sense in feeling badly about something that at least from a reading of the issues as you have presented them, wasn't your fault at all.

So go and live your life, glad that you are rid of a user and that you never did anything beyond prayer, e. g. give her money.

If she is truly sick, that will come out at some point in time. Just because someone looks healthy does not mean that they are. Keep that in mind. But I'd still say, don't feel guilty about it. Not everyone -- even the folks with cancer -- is going to be lovable to everyone on the planet. You're even allowed to not like those people if they are not nice to you. Cancer does not give them a free pass to trample all over your feelings.
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