how do you get over the fear of a guy's boner

Sorry to hear that. It can be a great part of foreplay. I think you should be honest with your current boyfriend and tell him to go slow until you trust him. Tell him you want to be in control for awhile. If you are with the right partner I think overtime you will associate it with affection and eroticism and no longer associate with your bad experience. Good luck.

Alli - can I ask how old you are?

Men get excited and get erections. Boys 11 - 18 get them all the time, even if girls aren't around. Sometimes they don't even know they have them.

Men older than that can try to control their thoughts and feelings, but don't count on it. Girls kissing them and rubbing on them will excite them.

If that frightens you, it means you just aren't ready to get involved with men/boys right now. That means no necking and fooling around.

That's OK. It just means you aren't ready yet.

A gay female friend tells me many years ago she tried out a hetro encounter.

"I'm not touching THAT."

True story

Hmmm, even hetro-girls go through that stage. We tend to get over it.

if your in love and married you will have no fears!!!

there has to be more to this.

One possibility: spend a day at your local zoo and observe some of the elephants and rhinos and THEIR boners; your friend probably won't frighten you so much afterwards....