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If The Good Lord Calls Me, Who'll Look After Fluffy & Rex

 
 
djjd62
 
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 02:12 pm
these folks will
Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA
The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World


Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.

April 1, 2011: Illinois and Iowa have now been added to our service area.

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 26 states, employing 40 pet rescuers. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Illinois, Iowa.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 02:31 pm
@djjd62,
Is there a reason that thay can 't go along ?
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 02:36 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
hard to say, according to this film
http://www.listzblog.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/all-dogs-go-to-heaven-disney-animation.jpg

not sure about the cats though

and then there was this great Twilight Zone episode

The Hunt

Hyder Simpson lives with his wife and his hound-dog Rip in the backwoods. Mrs. Simpson does not like having the dog indoors, but Rip saved Hyder's life once, and Hyder won't be parted from him. Mrs. Simpson has seen some bad omens recently, and warns Hyder not to go raccoon hunting that night. When Rip dives into a pond after a raccoon, Hyder jumps in after him, but only the raccoon comes up out of the water. Next morning, Hyder and Rip wake up next to the pond. When they return home, Hyder finds that neither his wife, the preacher, nor the neighbors can hear him or see him—they seem to think that he and Rip are dead.

Walking along the road, he encounters a fence he doesn't recognize, and decides to follow it. Presently, both come to a gate. The gatekeeper explains that he is Saint Peter and that Simpson can enter the Elysian Fields, but he is disheartened to hear that there is no raccoon hunting in heaven, nor are there any of his other usual pleasures. When he is told that Rip can't enter and will be taken elsewhere (up the road), he angrily goes on down the "Eternity Road" rather than enter the gate without his beloved dog, figuring that, "any place that's too high-falootin' for Rip is too fancy for me." Later, after stopping to rest at a log, Simpson and Rip are met by a young angel whose job is to find and bring them to Heaven.

Simpson tells the angel about his experience at the first gate, commenting "Son, that'd be a helluva place without Rip!" The angel replies "Mr. Simpson, you ain't far wrong - that is Hell! Heaven's up yonder apiece," pointing up Eternity Road. When asked by Simpson why the gatekeeper at the gate to Hell wouldn't let him bring Rip inside with him, the angel explains that the reason Rip was not allowed in was because the dog would have been able to smell the brimstone and alerted Simpson that something was wrong. The angel goes on to say, "You see Mr. Simpson, a man, well, he'll walk right into Hell with both eyes open. But even the Devil can't fool a dog!"

The angel also tells Hyder that there will be a raccoon hunt in Heaven that night, "right after the square dance," and assures him that his wife, who will be coming shortly, will not have any trouble with the Devil up the way.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 02:57 pm
@djjd62,
I 'd wager that applies to white bunny rabbits, too





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 03:03 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:
hard to say, according to this film
http://www.listzblog.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/all-dogs-go-to-heaven-disney-animation.jpg

not sure about the cats though

and then there was this great Twilight Zone episode

The Hunt

Hyder Simpson lives with his wife and his hound-dog Rip in the backwoods. Mrs. Simpson does not like having the dog indoors, but Rip saved Hyder's life once, and Hyder won't be parted from him. Mrs. Simpson has seen some bad omens recently, and warns Hyder not to go raccoon hunting that night. When Rip dives into a pond after a raccoon, Hyder jumps in after him, but only the raccoon comes up out of the water. Next morning, Hyder and Rip wake up next to the pond. When they return home, Hyder finds that neither his wife, the preacher, nor the neighbors can hear him or see him—they seem to think that he and Rip are dead.

Walking along the road, he encounters a fence he doesn't recognize, and decides to follow it. Presently, both come to a gate. The gatekeeper explains that he is Saint Peter and that Simpson can enter the Elysian Fields, but he is disheartened to hear that there is no raccoon hunting in heaven, nor are there any of his other usual pleasures. When he is told that Rip can't enter and will be taken elsewhere (up the road), he angrily goes on down the "Eternity Road" rather than enter the gate without his beloved dog, figuring that, "any place that's too high-falootin' for Rip is too fancy for me." Later, after stopping to rest at a log, Simpson and Rip are met by a young angel whose job is to find and bring them to Heaven.

Simpson tells the angel about his experience at the first gate, commenting "Son, that'd be a helluva place without Rip!" The angel replies "Mr. Simpson, you ain't far wrong - that is Hell! Heaven's up yonder apiece," pointing up Eternity Road. When asked by Simpson why the gatekeeper at the gate to Hell wouldn't let him bring Rip inside with him, the angel explains that the reason Rip was not allowed in was because the dog would have been able to smell the brimstone and alerted Simpson that something was wrong. The angel goes on to say, "You see Mr. Simpson, a man, well, he'll walk right into Hell with both eyes open. But even the Devil can't fool a dog!"

The angel also tells Hyder that there will be a raccoon hunt in Heaven that night, "right after the square dance," and assures him that his wife, who will be coming shortly, will not have any trouble with the Devil up the way.
YEAH! I remember that one.





David
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 03:14 pm
I wonder if those dog sitters are making any real money.
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 03:23 pm
@edgarblythe,
they ran a poll on coast to coast am last night asking if folks thought it was fake or not, end result was about 50/50, the show wanted to speak to the site owner but they declined
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 03:34 pm
@djjd62,
If they take any money in interstate commerce they better not be fake or the owner of the business will need the rapture and Jesus to get him out of prison.
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2011 04:00 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:
... not sure about the cats though...

What a silly thing to say. Of course they're going!

0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Apr, 2011 02:34 am
Cats is the spawn of Satan . . . ever'body knows that. So if they was cats there, it wouldn't be heaven no more, so they can't be no cats in heaven.
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Apr, 2011 03:00 am
@Setanta,
Macavity est un mystère
Un mystère insondable
C'est le félin le plus pervers
L'incarnation du diable
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Mon 11 Apr, 2011 03:06 am
@Setanta,
Well I am happy that my cats then will be with me in the afterlife instead of heaven.

Given the people who claimed they are sure to get into heaven heaven would be the last damn placed I would wish to be.

Anyone here enjoy the idea of spending forever hanging around with JGoldman for example?
0 Replies
 
 

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