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Does the English sound native?

 
 
Reply Thu 7 Apr, 2011 09:00 am

Context:

In this book Liuliu explores the interactions between doctors and patients
without bending to populist views; she probes these relations with her unique
perspective in order to understand the doctor and describe physicians in a
generally positive way. Xin Shu follows the daily lives of three neurosurgeons—a
resident, a fellow, and an attending physician—at a prestigious hospital in
southern China. The novel reveals the reality of life for Chinese doctors:
juggling a high workload in stressful conditions, working for low salaries, and
being subjected to physical attacks and insults from patients. Although it is
easy to attract the public's attention by highlighting the ugly side of hospital
life in China, that is not Liuliu's intention. Nor does she seek to idealise the
hospital. What she succeeds in doing is to truly present the complex nature of
these doctors' lives—their happiness, anger, grief, and joy. Her humane
portrayal of doctors will hopefully cast the relationship between doctors and
patients in a new light for readers.
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dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Apr, 2011 09:22 am
In this book Liuliu explores the interactions between doctors and patients
without bending to populist views; she probes these relations with her unique
perspective in order to understand the doctors and describe physicians in a
generally positive way.

That was the only change i could see. Thats excellent. Did you write translate that?
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 07:00 am
@dadpad,
Thanks.

No, it is not translated by me.
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 10:05 am
@oristarA,
Quote:
No, it is not translated by me.


This doesn't sound natural, Ori.

First, we don't usually use the present simple, here 'is' to describe a one time event. Using the present simple 'is' here, gives the feeling that you don't do this generally/normally/habitually.

Second, while using the passive here is a possibility, it's not really the normal neutral. Maybe your choice here was influenced [this one time]/is being influenced [I suggest that it might be a usual condition] by how it would be expressed in your native language.

Usually, we would keep the active,

No, I didn't translate this.

We could use the passive in a situation like this [and of course there could be other situations]

A: This passage was translated by Oristar.

Ori: No, it was not translated by ME. [emphasis on 'me']
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 08:43 pm
@JTT,
Excellent.

Thank you very much.
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