Weird Stuff on Cable

dadpad, I'm a former fan of the Japanese version of Iron Chef. I watched it faithfully for several years. Now I occasionally will watch Iron Chef America. It depends on who the iron chef is that day.

Speaking of cooking shows, omigod. There are cooking competitions up the wazoo. Chopped, Iron Chef, Top Chef, The Next Food Network Star, and The Worlds Worst Chef (not entirely sure of the title). There are also all-star versions of several of these shows. I can't taste or smell what they're cooking, so the shows are as much about personalities as they are about cooking.

There are a number of eating shows. Anthony Bourdain's is one of them. Certainly the most serious of the one's I'm aware of. He's truly interested in where he's eating and what he's eating. However, I can't stand to watch this show. Why? The narrative sounds like written material that's being read. Dry and boring to listen to. Hey, Anthony. Lighten up.

Another eating show is Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman. This guy will eat anything. And occasionally even he will spit something out.

The third is Man vs. Food. Adam Somethingorother schleps around the country looking for local eateries that have some special to offer. Each show ends in a challenge. Can he eat the 12-egg omelet with fries and two buns? Can he eat the five pound burger? Can he eat the hottest chili on the planet. Sometimes he does it. Sometimes he doesn't. I've noticed from watching that chewing seems optional for this guy.

Gotta get back to work, gang.

Punkey, I think the hoarder shows are weird. I've never heard of MI-5. Please enlighten me.

Irish, I'm ruminating about watching Project Runway again. I like Tim Gunn too. (No crush, though. Did I tell you he once left a message on my machine, reminding me to watch the show. Hey, Tim. Don't be such a noodge.)

farmerman, I haven't watched Pawn Stars, but I might tune in. I used to like Mythbusters. I like the guys. But I lost interest. They were busting myths I never heard of. And it took them forever to get to the busting part. I've watched Man vs. Wild and Survivor Man. I prefer the former, but I don't watch anymore. The guy from Man vs. Wild had leeches all over him. He got some kinda infection. He's doing this for a tv show? Another meshugina.

dadpad, What's Big Moves? I'm always on the lookout for something new.

wayne, I commented on Anthony Bourdain above. I agree that he takes the time to learn about the cuisine and the culture. But the narrative is so bad, I can't watch anymore.

I could write a diatribe about Animal Planet. I may. You never know. But for now, I bring to your attention a show called Fatal Attractions.

Talk about your meshuginas. A woman loves venomous snakes. She's got lots of them. She thinks they love her back. She got careless. She got bit. She got dead.

A man has an American bison as a pet. It comes in the house! It rides with him in his converted pickup truck. It got pissed. He got dead.

The same goes for the man who had a bull for a pet (except for the pickup truck).

Then there are the folks who keep lions as tigers as pets. Some of these people run out of money to feed the pets. The pets eat them. C'est la vie. (A lion taken by animal control after it devoured its owner was found to weigh about half what it should have.) Hey, lady, there's nothing like romping with a starving lion.

Most recently, I saw a man with saltwater crocodiles as pets. They're smart. They know him. They love him. He carried one of the smaller crocs around like a baby--pressed to his body, head up, tail down. I think this guy was still alive. Why is he on a show called Fatal Attractions if he's still alive? Maybe the producers are projecting the inevitable.

There were shows with chimp pets, constricting snake pets, monitor lizard pets, and an elephant pet. Some of the owners survived attacks. Some didn't. Dese pipples is weird.

I have a major crush on Anthony Bourdain.....I think he's handsome and sexy. He always shows respect for the cuisines and cultures he visits. I remember one show where he was visiting a primitive tribe and was offered two delicacies....an egg of some kind cooked on hot sand, full of shell and grit, and the asshole of some animal they had just killed. He choked down both with great good grace and thanked his hosts profusely.

mags, I agree with everything you've said (except I don't have a crush). I just can't stand the show's narration. When I see him elsewhere, I like him just fine. What can I tell ya?

I only saw the ad with the guy and the bison. My wife said that the shows title said it all and we raise several beef cattle and we have a few cows and a bull. YOU GOTTA treat the bulls like a loaded gun. Even the cow can stomp you if you dont assert your dominance . We never let anybody but we two in the paddocks or stallsAND we always go together.
Most all of the cattle stomp accidents occur when someone is alone with the animals. JEEZUS christ a cow is over 1100 pounds and a bull can weigh a ton.
We saw the guy jumping around with his bison and my woife said"I wonder how he gets it?"

They have bison shows as part of the big PA FARM SHOW each January. A few years ago some kid reached into a barred cage to pet a huge bison (Nobody was watching at the time) and the bison merely leaned into the bars of the pen and the kids arm was crushed. He had several operations to restore his busted up limb and this year, when I was at the show, I saw a kid standing on the gate of a bison pen . I yelled to the farmer who was displaying the bison. He ran over and pulled the kid off the fence and the kids father got all in the farmers face about "Touching my kid" The farmer was really cool about how he didnt want the bison to touch the kid because the kid would be hurt badly. The father was still all territorially motivated and was loaded with testosterone. Finally, security came along and explained to the father about safety requiremenst and all the signs that were around the pens and he should be thankful to the farmer for preventing anything .
SOme folks are lifelong card carrying assholes.

PS, the tv guys bison was a midget compared to some of the ones they raise for meat.They are a megafauna after all.

Definitly out of America somewhere.
Central theme is someone has bought a lighthouse/ship/vintage ranchhouse and has to move it to another part of the country.
geting said item ready to move, the impact of weather, dismantling into movable pieces. transporting and reassembling form the content. Cranes 'dozers, prime movers and imaginative solutions are the attraction

I sometimes watch Wipeout, a really hokey obstacle-course competition.
As me old gram woulda said, "Savage amusement!"

The bison at that stage was still a baby. It got bigger.

Thanks, dadpad. That could be fun to watch. Don't know if it's in the US.

I sometimes watch too. The contestants are nuts--but determined.

Wipeout is just stupid...hysterically stupid of course. It makes me laugh so hard.

Ever find yourself saying "I coulda done that"?

Of course! And I know that I would fail miserably. LOL

My husband watches something called "Swamp People" I used to like "Ice 'road Truckers" until it jumped the shark in the third season Of course, there's the Hitler..er History Channel.

Only when timing is involved. Step wait step wait. Otherwise, fuggedaboutit.

There are two shows on Animal Planet that leave me sputtering. First I can't tell them apart. One is I'm Alive and the other is I Shouldn't Be Alive. I'm sputtering that producers would do something this stupid. The shows do not differ in content that I'm able to discern. Something not good happens to somebody, and they go through a lot to get help, return safely, etc. Examples: Buggy overturns in the desert. Man is trapped. Man is kayaking and hits the rocks. Woman is hiking and falls off a cliff. Man is bitten twice by a spitting cobra. He's hours from medical help. Plane crashes, animal attacks, getting lost in the desert/the rainforest/the mountains/a blizzard.

Such tsuris.

These shows aren't so much weird as they are bewildering. Aside from wondering why there are two shows. I gotta wonder about the titles. Aren't they a dead giveaway. If the titles weren't enough to let you know that the person survived the tsuris, the person in trouble is interviewed during the show. So the narrator says, "And she's hours from death." The woman says, "I was sure it was over for me." But she's sitting there telling us about it! A guy had to parachute out of a plane that was breaking up in midair. He landed in the ocean. Terrible situation. No argument there. He sees a shark swimming around him. Horrifying. (Insert theme from Jaws.) Just one little problem, show-wise. The guy is sitting there telling us about the shark.

NO SUSPENSE. A harrowing adventure. A horrible experience. But NO SUSPENSE. What are the producers thinking??

"can i sell this to the cable network for a lot of money"

Oh goodness Roberta - that 1000 Ways to Die is horrible. I can't bear to watch it. My husband and I started watching it one time and I had to get up and leave the room because he wouldn't change the channel.

I don't really get to watch TV any more. If I watch TV it is usually to order something on Netflix or to watch my recordings of The Mentalist...other than that - I am usually reading while the boys are watching ball of some sort.

But I have heard of those things - Reality TV is just a kind of voyeurism isn't it?

At least I think it is. Used to be anyway.

Mismi, You don't like 1000 Ways to Die, you don't like it. Your choice, your taste.

Some of reality TV is voyeurism. No question about it. Some is a re-creation of reality. And some of the stuff we're talking about here isn't reality at all. Just weird. Or competitions. Cooking, decorating, clothing design. Not reality.

1000 ways"... cool as a car wreck.

ANybody watch "Shark Week"? To me, a shark is a shark. I dont know what the issue is that we gotta devote a whole week of dumass shark programming on cable.

Most of the dinosaur shows, Im a sucker for because I gotta see where they screw up in the program because they didnt quote the scientists right or else they propose something waay off from what they said.