Is it written by native English speakers?

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Please comment it with your intuition (do not use google):

The Master remarked, ‘It is indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and, as you go on acquiring, to put into practice what you have acquired. A greater pleasure still it is when friends of congenial minds come from afar to seek you because of your attainments. But he is truly wise and good man who feels no discomposure even when he is not noticed of men.

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The Master remarked, ‘It is indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and, as you go on acquiring, to put into practice what you have acquired. A greater pleasure, still, IS when friends of congenial minds come from afar to seek you because of your attainments. But IT IS truly THE wise and good man who feels no discomposure, even when he is not noticed BY men.

No - it does not sound "native" to modern English speakers, but it is understandable.
I have made suggestions for subject/verb agreement and articles.
Is there another word you could use for "discomposure?"

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@oristarA,

It appears to be an awkward translation into English of something meaningful originally written in another language.

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A "Master" teaching rarely uses the second person, "you" in his teachings.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

I cannot agree with this comment. I agree with the others that this is not written by a native speaker of English.

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Thank you.

I have to point out that the passage was written more than 70 years ago.

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@oristarA,

That makes no difference to the quality of the English. It is awkward, and patently not the product of a native speaker.

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OK - I caved in and Googled it.

It's by Confucius and is one of many stanzas (and the only one that uses "you")

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@oristarA,

It is curiously awkward and stilted. Plenty of native writers write in that way, to be sure, but the ponderous style suggests either a non-native writer or a translation.

This is an error

Quote:

he is truly wise and good man who feels no discomposure

There should be an 'a' either after 'is' or after 'truly'.

1 Reply

@oristarA,

no peking no confucian no english

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@contrex,

contrex wrote:

It is curiously awkward and stilted. Plenty of native writers write in that way, to be sure, but the ponderous style suggests either a non-native writer or a translation.

This is an error

Quote:
he is truly wise and good man who feels no discomposure

There should be an 'a' either after 'is' or after 'truly'.

　　Indeed there is an "a" in the original translation text and the man who typed the text missed out. Sorry for that.

The original text is here:

Confucius remarked,"It is indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and,as you go on acquiring,to put into practice what you have acquired.A greater pleasure still it is when friends of congenial minds come from afar to seek you because of your attenments.But he is truly a wise and good man who feels no discomposure even when he is not noticed of men."

　　　Does it still sound awkward in your ears?

=============

Thank you all for replying.

　　　

2 Replies

@oristarA,

it's atrocious

1 Reply

@laughoutlood,

laughoutlood wrote:

it's atrocious

I've heard that the English works by native speakers of English written 200 years are grammatically atrocious. Very Happy

So the translator is cool anyways? Razz

2 Replies

@oristarA,

Quote:

I've heard that the English works by native speakers of English written 200 years are grammatically atrocious.

I don't know who told you that, but the grammar of the early 19th century isn't different from the grammar of today. The only likely differences would be in spelling or in the use of stock phrases no longer used today. The grammar will be the same.

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@oristarA,

oristarA wrote:

　　　Does it still sound awkward in your ears?
　　　

yes

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@oristarA,

oristarA wrote:

Please comment it with your intuition (do not use google):

This is a run-on sentence (i.e., 2 sentences run together,
as if they were only 1 sentence).
If you put a semi-colon or a period after "intuition" you can cure that.

oristarA wrote:

The Master remarked, ‘It is indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and, as you go on acquiring, to put into practice what you have acquired. A greater pleasure still it is when friends of congenial minds come from afar to seek you because of your attainments. But he is truly wise and a good man who feels no discomposure even when he is not noticed of men.

This is almost perfect, except for a missing word: "a".
There is no reason to interrupt the sentence with a period
after "attainments". Simply de-capitalize the word "But".
Anything after "But" is only a sentence fragment.
This is actually 1 sentence, not 2.

David

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@oristarA,

oristarA wrote:

laughoutlood wrote:

it's atrocious

I've heard that the English works by native speakers of English written 200 years are grammatically atrocious.

So the translator is cool anyways?

"Anyways" is incorrect. Anyway is better.

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@oristarA,

One or two missing articles... The biggest problem with usage is:

Quote:

A greater pleasure still it is when friends of congenial minds come from afar to seek you because of your attainments.

English speaking people normally assume friends are people who live nearby or at least in the same country as a general rule. Having ALL of your friends having to come from afar is a problem.

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@oristarA,

It sounds like something from a script of that KungFu TV series from the 70s. It's grammatical and somewhat lofty.

Here's an example.

http://www.kungfu-guide.com/3bloodbro.html

0 Replies

Is it written by native English speakers?

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