What is the answer for bullying?

It doesn't "Improve the Odds", good parenting is literally the raising of good children, otherwise it wouldn't be good parenting. Despite the intentions of the parents, whether or not they think they are good parents, how their kids turn out is what counts. I know plenty of crappy parents that think of their parenting with the out most excellence, think it is their child's fault for being a jerk at school, or get into drug use.

At any rate, I think insulting one another is a bit unnecessary.
Age does not make one wise or smart, just look at congressmen who think a "Stimulus Package" will help the economy.

Please then, if you will, give me an example of a bully who's parents are 'good'.

However, age does tend to rub ones nose in situations where great parents have really messed up kids...either you have not lived long enough to confront this or you ignore this...

An individual couple can pursue an optimal parenting strategy and still fail to produce a healthy adult, because of factors beyond their control. The best they can do is employ the parenting strategy that, statistically speaking, is most likely to succeed. The parents' behaviour is "good", because it is what succeeds in the majority of cases like theirs, and thus gives children like theirs the best odds of success.

(So good parenting IS that which "improves the odds".)

Because parents cannot control everything that happens to their children, two couples with near identical sets of children could employ exactly the same parenting techniques, and one set of kids could grow up well and the other poorly. The parents employed the same strategy; it was either right in both cases or wrong in both cases. Someone using your tautological definition of good parenting would call one couple good and and the other bad.

(So defining good parenting by the outcome doesn't work.)

An example is one in which his parents do all that is reasonable in taking good care of him,
but yet he is overbearing to accomplish his own will, or who is sadistic, regardless of any parental involvement.





David

Yes; I 've heard the example
that 2 men can be out in the sun together
and 1 will tan and the other will burn red.





David

To make sense out of my previous post in this topic: I was responding to spam (which has since been deleted), not to any comment in this thread.

How does 'rubbing one's nose into situations' make an older man wise?

I see what you are saying, and I agree with you for the most part, but if you were to reword the phrase "the best odds of success" to "Greatly increases the odds of success" because you make it sound like a 60/40 percent gamble, when its really the rule over the exception. If you are a 'good' parent, odds are more like 90% chance of raising an awesome child.

Only if environmental factors were really extreme i think for the most part those parents would make children who are not jerk-offs.

Now of course 'good' being a relative term, most parents would think of themselves as good when they justify beating their children with belts, and their children have grown up to become Raged Axe Murderers. They think to themselves "Well we did our part, all that Slaying thing, that's all him".
And to include that to the statistic would be a mistake.

Sorry David, i meant a real life example.

That 'd require me to actively WATCH
parents raise children thru their lives and that woud not count
unless children turned out to be bullies.

I have better things to do with my time
and I do not have search warrants to intrude that way.





David

Wow really, and when you were asked to do a research paper for school did you tell your teacher "Sorry, wasn't there, couldnt watch anything relevant for my project"

Why don't you find a link where the parents were awesome while the kids were bullies.

LOL, this reminds me of the kid, whose father told him to clean his plate there are starving children in Africa, the kid's response - oh yeah? name two.

The best answer for bullying is to give the bully a bloody nose. It does wonders.

The Professor ordered the class to research
the lives of general officers on both sides
of the Civil War, and he assigned research subjects
to each student, the idea being simply that we 'd
gather n submit biografical data.
We did.
It was a pleasure researching General Nathan Bedford Forrest.
My research of his life was very extensive; more than it needed to be.
It was like reading of a live, factual James Bond.






Because the accumulated data is not complete and is untrustworthy;
additionally, your question assumes that we all know n agree
what "awesome" means in this context. I don 't know hat "awesome"
means in every context; for instance, if a father discovers that his
son is taking addictive narcotics, I have NO IDEA
what "awesome" means, (but that mere thawt gives me good
thrills that I have no children).

Your question, reminds me of an incident
wherein I saw what I deemed an awesome dad:
I was in a hot tub in a summer resort in the 1990s,
when a very, very tall man in his 30s entered the tub
with his 2 little boys maybe around 6 and 8 years old.
The warmth n KINDNESS with which
he addressed each of them and their intense HARMONY blew my mind.
In his demeanor and affect, he manifested admiration,
respect and good will for each of them.

Later that day, when he was alone, I commented upon
the very singular paternal beauty that he manifested.
I told him (truthfully) that I 'd never seen any father
half as good as he was. I was much more accustomed to seeing
fathers bully & threaten their sons, in an authoritarian demeanor.
I used to feel sorry for them, and I was satisfied that my own father
left me alone and did not interfere with me.

I suspect that his 2 boys were fine people with good manners,
but I have no information qua whether thay turned out to be bullies.

Thay did not bully me.

Admittedly, the week b4 or the week after,
that father coud have been better or worse; I dunno.
He was among the people upon whom I did not spy.





David

ERRATUM:
"Because the accumulated data is not complete and is untrustworthy; "

shoud have been:
Because the accumulated data r not complete and r untrustworthy;





David

I read most of the people's reply and... they're all good. But I'll speak to "the solution to bullying as a victim".
Just saying this first, buy this book "THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE TEENS by Sean Covey".


Sure on a new school year, my last. (16 years old) I already messed up on the first day back to school. And I then cried like hell coming back from school and remembering about all the pain I've suffered for the past 4 years of Highschool and thinking all kinds of things. "why me?" "I can't take this anymore, I've had enough" "not another year..." "I wan't it to stop"
Stuff like that, long story about that day, how I feel, what I realized and my life about being "intimidated/bullied".

[The Solution:] I know it's hard to do, it still is for me. But what you need to do is (1) ignore them COMPLETLY. (2) focus on yourself and your dreams/goals, build up your self-confidence! (3) be Proactive not REACTIVE.

Again... I know its hard, I'm still working on it actually. I just had 2 days of going back to school and on the second day I was actually planning to finally beat any of them up! Because... seriously, guys are stupid. (I'm a guy btw). To make them understand you have to beat them up! Guys solve problems with "fists". (Girl vs. Girl) Girls w/ words, but they could also fight! The thing about bullies, they "bring you down" because it makes them feel "superior", it makes their confidence go up! As if doing that makes your confidence go up~ it just makes the victim miserable, when the BULLY doesn't even know it! They continue their days normally & completely forget about it, right? When your thinking about it ALL DAY, and maybe crying about it. It pretty much ruins your whole day!~ I could say alot more actually but I don't know where to start but... I think saying the "solution" and now my life and how I feel is bettter x3.

Even though I'm still going through my own "getting bullied" or whatever, I could still help. You think I should say my email to help you guys, because I could give you more advice! x3


_ [email protected] |

The victim gave the bullies the one gun salute: it WORKED. Permanently.
The decent people are the safer for it.
We all owe the victim a debt.





David

There is an old saying: "an armed society is a POLITE society."





David

Rest easy, Barry's on it!

The Obama administration has just appointed James P. Hoffa to be the countries official bullying czar.