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Cows and globalization.

 
 
fbaezer
 
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2002 11:38 am
Globalization has brought changes.

In the old times:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies.


American Corporation:

You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. When it dies of exhaustion, you wonder why.


Japanese Corporation:

You don't have cows, so you copy one. It's one tenth of the size of a normal cow and produces the same amount of milk, only it's not milk. You export it all over the world.


German Corporation:

You have two cows. You make some re-engineering so the cows live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.


Colombian Corporation:

You have two cows, 18 thousand soldiers to protect them and 73 DEA agents monitoring the process. It's too expensive, so you decide to sell them to the drug traffickers. You ask the American Congress for more cows.


Russian Corporation:

You arrive to the conclusion you have five cows. You count them up again and they're 42. In another count you have 11. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



Israeli Corporation:

You have two cows. One is Jewish; the other is Palestinian. They fight for the grass. You try to negotiate with them, but they don't want to. One of them becomes a Bomb-Cow. Pooom! You have no cows.


French Corporation:

You have two cows. You are on a strike because you want three.


Argentinian Corporation:

You had 20 thousand cows. You sold them all, stole your own money and ran away with Miss Universe.


Senegalese Corporation:

You have no cows. You don't worry. You beat France in Soccer.


Mexican Corporation:

You had two cows. The former government stole them. The new government says you have 10 cows.


British Corporation:

You have two cows. They're mad.


Indian Corporation:

You have two cows. You adore them.


Jamaican Corporation

You have two cows. Both have muzzles. Your business is the grass, not the cows, man.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2002 11:51 am
LOL, Boss . . .

Reminds me of a joke:

Ramon wishes to be a lawyer, as his father and grandfather before him. He goes to University in Ciudad Mexico, does advanced studies in Spain, tours all of Latin America to study the judicial systems, and to see them in action. Ramon wishes to be the best lawyer he can be. Finally, at home again, and in practice, he is visited by Diego, who leaves him puzzled. He speaks to his father:

"Diego owns a cow, which has always been kept in a shed on Jose's farm, and which grazes in Jose's pasture. Diego now wishes to sell the cow, but Jose refuses to allow this, saying he does not wish to see the cow sold, and his interest is as great as Diego's. Now Diego comes to me, and wishes to take Jose to court. I am at an impasse, i wish to be just, but, father, who is to own this cow, Diego or Jose?"

"Don't be foolish my son, we will own the cow."
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Dec, 2002 06:45 pm
fbaezer, Unfortunately there is a great deal more cows in India than just two. You need to add a few zeroes behind the 2. They roam freely all over the place, and you-know-what is also all over the place. c.i.
0 Replies
 
fbaezer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Feb, 2008 09:25 pm
This addenda was sent to me by an Italian friend.

Berlusconi cows

You have two cows.
You sell 3 of them to your corporation, using letters of credit opened by your brother at your bank. Then you change the letters of credit for a participation of a company subject to public offerings. You earn another cow, and get fiscal benefits for having 5 cows. You then sell the rights for milk production of your 6 cows to a Panamanian intermediary on behalf of a company set in the Cayman Islands, clandestinely owned by a stockholder who resells your company the rights for the milk production of 7 cows. On your bookeeping you have 8 cows, with a future options for the 9th. Meanwhile you killed the 2 cows you had. When they're about to send you to jail, you manage to make the government fall, that new elections are called upon and you become Primer Minister again.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Apr, 2008 05:20 pm
Re: Cows and globalization.
fbaezer wrote:
Japanese Corporation:

You don't have cows, so you copy one. It's one tenth of the size of a normal cow and produces the same amount of milk, only it's not milk. You export it all over the world.

Russian Corporation:

You arrive to the conclusion you have five cows. You count them up again and they're 42. In another count you have 11. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Israeli Corporation:

You have two cows. One is Jewish; the other is Palestinian. They fight for the grass. You try to negotiate with them, but they don't want to. One of them becomes a Bomb-Cow. Pooom! You have no cows.

Senegalese Corporation:

You have no cows. You don't worry. You beat France in Soccer.

British Corporation:

You have two cows. They're mad.

Indian Corporation:

You have two cows. You adore them.


Hehhehheh...
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Apr, 2008 10:27 pm
Could this be the longest lasting thread with the fewest posts?

Those cows just keep going and going and going.....no wonder there is such a problem with global warming.
0 Replies
 
 

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