Relationship help, please help me I'd really appreciate it.

I am at a really hard junction; it may take a while to explain it all thoroughly, so please bear with me.

Well, I am a (just, haha!) 22 year old woman and I have been with my partner for about 3 and a half years. He is 28. We actually met in a treatment centre, as I had depression and an eating disorder and he, alcoholism. We took it fairly slowly when we first came out, as our primary focus was getting back our health, but after about a year and a half we moved in together. We took some time out of our work and education, he was in advertising when we went to treatment, and at 18 I was in full time education. Well, I'm happy to say we were in the lucky minority that kept our health and gradually I felt more in control and able to do things with my life, so I enrolled in a Midwifery course, which I love but is extremely hard work.

This is where the problems began. For some reason he does not seem to have the drive that I do, and after 3.5 years he still hasn't got back to work, he says he's going to, but claims he is still 'unwell' and takes a very victim mentality about his condition due to his past (which was bad, but so was mine, and at aome point I feel you have to own your own life and move on) but he doesn't see this, he is just stuck because he feels it's warranted and doesn't seem to want to move on. I can't claim to be an angel, I get so resentful that I come in after a 12/13 hour shift when he's been in all day and hasn't even bothered to cook me a meal, claiming he's 'not my maid'. I never asked for that, but I think it is fair that he does something like that for me if I'm working so hard, but he feels it is beneath him, perhaps due to low self worth due to not working, but again I seem to be at the receiving end. Also, we argue a LOT about house maintenance, no-one likes cleaning and I feel that if one is working one should do the majority of housework, but he feels it should be 50:50 in every situation, he just can't understand any other perspective. He said maybe we should just live seperately, I called him up on it and moved in with my aunt, in some ways it has been fantastic, no arguments, and occasionally a meal after a long shift, I'm not a princess but that means a lot to me. It has also been hard, I love him deeply and I love being around him, but he is so draining - he never is happy, he always moans and complains and he says he feels ill - I kid you not - every day. It also really kicked off as he had a slip - just one drink but even so, and sometimes I feel like he's holding me back. My family all love him, he is very loving and charming and has a really good heart, but even they are starting to see this affected side to him.

He's begging me to go back, I have no idea about whether to. I miss him so much, and we are still seeing eachother, but its more for evenings, not like living together. This has been like this for about a month, I have so much anger within me towards him, and I have no idea if he will change as he seems to have no drive to, but I truly love him. Sorry it was so long, I just really need advice based on what's really going on.