abandoned for the ex wife

Get a lawyer, honey, and protect your rights.

From what you wrote, he was never to be trusted and lied to you. He has tossed you to the wolves. I've no idea what actually went on for you and he that he would do such a thing, but NO ONE deserves to be treated as you described.

My first question is what you country or culture are you from and where did you get married? The advice given for one culture might be quite different about your rights, for example, than in USA. Huiring a lawyer and mthe process for that is different here than it is in another country. For example, without any money and located in another country, I'm not sure what options you'd have say in India or Asia.

He is distracted by something (substance addiction?) and a former love in his life before he met you. He is still in love with (or is addicted to) his ex-wife and maybe his old lifestyle. He has no respect for you, your needs/rights or your marriage.

Don't look at what you think you had with him as reality. He hid his real feeling and motivations. Deal with that the best way you can with the best pushback you can...with the best lawyer you can afford.

Hire a good lawyer that can be passionate about your fight. Go at this in a court of law. Don't exchange any personal words with him. Let the lawyer speak for you and do ALL the talking.

Payback is a bitch.

"he blames me for all his problems and he just dump me like a piece of trash and wants to get ride of me fast"

tulipbear, you HAVE TO realize he suffers from some form of mental illness. You cannot change it, you can only get away from it as soon as possible.

Grieve, cry... but please know, he is not right, and never will be.

You are hurt right now, but that will turn to anger when you have a real vision of the situation.

Get a lawyer to get some alimony in order to set yourself up in housing and to get an education/training.

Sorry you got your heart broke, but keep going . . .

thanks to all for your advices, I know see what my fantasy dream of a husband has fallen apart, the main issue he complains Im needy, have health issues due to an accident but nothing serious an Im almost fine, so he complained having to do things for me, the tough part he introduced himself to me as a charming, handsome, gentle, etc. guy, when in reality is lazy, spend so many hours on the couch,on his gambling, etc. all he cares is himself,maybe he hide he has a mental problem, it runs in his family, so ... I should have been aware, but I don't know why he was with me for almost 3 years, and that bitch is there for the economic interest and treats him like a dog,anyway thanks an i m trying to move on, praying and I haven't been able to eat have lost so much weight is just too much humilliation. My sin was to plan having a baby be mids of next year that made him furious etc.

Before you do anything else, you should go down on your knees and give thanks to your God that this 'thing' is out of your life.

One day, when the hurt has receded, you will realise how lucky you are to be free of him before babies started appearing on the scene or the violent rages took hold.

You have already said it yourself - it was a dream, a fantasy. Dreams and fantasies are lovely ways to pass an hour or so, but for the most part, life is hard.

Get a lawyer, protect your interests, then give a great big sigh of relief. And DO NOT WASTE ONE MORE TEAR ON HIM.

Further to my previous post, I went back and had another read of your original post, and felt the need to say more.

You do realise, of course, that their relationship never finished. It sounds as though they get really strong physical satisfaction from fighting and making up.

She has not won - he is her problem again and they sound as though they deserve each other. You have won. You are rid of him.

I think he is only saying that so that you will feel guilty because you did not give him enough support when he most needed it. Don't fall for that line!

That's because you were used, betrayed and it has left you devastated.

I don't think he does hate you. You were a doormat. You were there, ready and willing to be his slave when he wanted to prove to his ex that he could find himself a pretty new wife to replace her. But it was a game they were playing between them and obviously neither one of them is prepared to spend one minute worrying about you. You have served your purpose and they would both just like you to go away. It sounds as though you were beginning to see through the lies.

You don't really want to be tied to someone like that for the rest of your life, do you?

You did not say what country you are in, so I have not idea what the situation is regarding your legal rights. Can you talk to a lawyer and get some advice?

STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY. Hold your head up high. Grit your teeth and tell yourself over and over again that you will survive this crisis. It will make you a stronger and wiser person. It hurts, but that will ease off a little bit every day as long as you don't start feeling you could have done something to avoid this disaster. You were used and abused. You can fight back by surviving and standing tall on your own two feet.

Of course it made him furious. He didn't want another complication and actually have to start acting like a responsible adult.

I'm sorry if I sound cold and hard hearted about this. I'm not, I feel very sad for you. I had a very messy and humiliating relationship break-up many years ago, so I do know what you are going through. At the moment however, you have to pull yourself together and do something to help yourself. Sympathy from me or anyone else will not help you much.