Am I forgivable?

My roommate is my best friend. He helped me find who I am, both in a mental and social perspective, as well as my physical perspective. We've been close for all of college, and have lived together for almost 2 years now. Last year he met his boyfriend. His boyfriend and I started off like oil and water, and only put up with each other for our love for my roommate. His boyfriend introduced us to the world of hard drugs, and we got into some pretty bad stuff but would only use as party drugs. (Never doing anything alone or at home on the couch) Eventually, through drunken acts and chatting, my roommate's boyfriend and I reconciled our differences, and through some drunken mess, me, my roommate and his boyfriend had a threesome. About a month later, after a few nights of hard partying, we all had a weekend threesome that took things farther than the last time. I came out of the experience confused about my feelings. I started to crush on my roommate's boyfriend because, being friends now, we had some long talks and found out that our upbringings, and lives are unbelievably similar and very relate-able. (My roommate's boyfriend had come on to me, and I rejected him.) There was this weird attraction between me and the boyfriend. We both were physically and somewhat emotionally attracted to each other. throughout this last year of knowing each other, we've had some drunken make out sessions. Finally, after a lot of the tension was built up. My roommate's boyfriend and I had sex at my place, while my roommate was at the boyfriend's house passed out from a night of partying the night before. We did a lot of drugs, and were together for a few hours. Then we acted like nothing happened for the next week. The following weekend, I came home from out of town, and my roommate was out of town for the winter holiday, but his boyfriend was staying at my place. We hung out and drank a bit, then went to his place to hang with his roommates. I thought it would be a weekend of hanging out (but secretly, i hoped for more). Late that first night, we had sex. Every day for the following 4 days we slept in the same bed, cuddle, and had sex whenever we wanted. It was a perfectly wrong situation that I wanted to be right. The boyfriend asked if we could make it a regular "once a week" kind of thing. I wasn't opposed. Eventually (as it should be), my roommate found out, and we talked a little about it. I definitely had taken things too far, but my whole personality had changed since we all initially met. Throughout this saga of events, I had become more confident, aggressive, and independent. Moreso than I used to be. I also lost a lot of weight (in some right and wrong ways). I also became a hard partier. Drinking, drugs, and sex every week. That wasn't the me of 5 years ago. I explained to him, how part of why I did it was just cause of how much I've changed since last year. He said he understands where I'm coming from. He's absolutely forgiven his boyfriend and spends every waking moment with him. His boyfriend and I were really good friends (even without the sex), but now my roommate won't even let him talk/text me. I just want the friendship now, I know I did a crappy thing, but I can't change the past. His boyfriend has cheated on him several several times, and my roommate knows of them, but always just pretends it didn't happen and loves his boyfriend anyway. I wish he could do the same for me, for my stupid slip up. It was a really weak, and pathetic moment for me, and I just want my friend back.

could you forgive me?

(please no really hateful response. I already feel like the worst person alive, when i should at least be the 2nd worst in comparison to my roommate's boyfriend)