The worlds first riddle!

In response to complaints from those of you that like word puzzles,
I attempt to put matters right with the following.

Complete the last line.

ESP = AYN
ANC = NLS
HCF = TNR
ICBM = RLCE
VSO =

I've made no progress at all on this one - other than finding out what it is not. Maybe I'm trying too hard and it is something so simple . . .

I just discovered this. Don't give the solution yet!

What a coincidence. I have just checked the FBi national database and found that both you guys = 9

Check, and see if you agree with me.

Take the last 2 digits of your phone number x 2 + your dwelling number
- your age in years x 18. Sum the digits of the result. (Repeat the sum until you have a single digit) = 9.

Are you twins?

Naah! It's that database got jammed up again. Try it on something like the the woman next door's bra size in centimetres; multiply by 17; add the last three numbers of next month's lottery winner; multiply by 143; add your arresting officer's badge number; times 72; sum the digits until only one is left and you still get nine. Like I said, you just can't trust those databases.

"add the last three numbers of next month's lottery winner"

I wish.

Re. the last line. Clue - think 'acronyms'.

However if 'adding' is your thing then sit back, throw another log on the fire and answer me this;

An agent is selling four acres of land for $15,000 or seven acres for $24,000. He does not mind which offer people choose because he makes the same profit on each sale.

Today he sold a total of 26 acres. How much profit did he make

You say that he makes the same profit on each sale and doesn't mind? I would mind. I would want to make the same profit for each acre and not for each sale. Making the same profit on eacxh sale is the same as saying that three of the seven are sold at cost price, and what is the point of that? Could you assure me that it IS for each sale.

Acronyms. I was aware that those on the left are all well-known acronyms. (Those on the right are, as far as I know, lesser known acronyms, but that is probaly true of any small bunch of letters taken at random) Nope; still no progress.

Try

Canadien/ne, eh? Moi? Sacre portageuse! First time I heard someone say "Saskatoon Saskatchewan" I wondered what language they were speaking, beause it didn't sound English or French.

Acronyms: so I'm stupid; so sue me! (YEN, at long last) I knew I was looking too deep. I tried giving letters a numerical value from their position in the alphabet. I tried 'Julius Caesar'letter substitutions and 'Playfair code'. I checked the letter frequency to see if the appearance of each letter was consistant with statistical probability.
"A five year old child could solve this!". "So bring me a five year old child!"

Given that the profit is per parcel rather than per acre, I would suggest that he makes $15 000 profit on his sale of 26 acres (2 parcels of 7 acres and three parcels of four acres at a profit of $3 000 per parcel)

YEN? is that Yen as in Yang? YEN, is not the answer. But real close.
As Frank has asked that I dont publish the answer...yet, I will wait.

Land agent, spot on.

Do it, Try.

I ain't gettin' no brainstorms. In fact, I ain't even gettin' a mild, summer brainshower.

Try

Is there a 'right' answer per se?
VSO can stand for:
Voluntary Service Organisation (The one that comes first to my mind as I am involved with it)
Vancouver/Vermomt/Vlladivostok Symphony Orchestra
Verb Subject Object
Valdosta Southern Railway
Veterans Service Organisation
VSO Brandy
Stalling velocity at take off
Variable sweep oscillator
And no doubt many others.
But on consideration the one you had in mind would be 'Voluntary Service Overseas'.

It might be worth adding that it is a recognised medical acronym, standing for 'Very sensitive orifice'. I must bear that in mind for the future as a term of abuse! :-)

"Rhythms" comes to mind - it beats "Syzygy" by one letter, assuming that plurals are allowed - but I suspect that there is a catch and all is not as it appears. I will cogitate deeply upon this.

Having cogitated, I am of the opinion that both "rhythms" and "Syzygy" use 'Y' as a vowel and are not therefore 'vowel-free'. There are longer words that contain no vowels other than 'Y' but they are either dubious constructions - e.g. "Symphysy" (from the medical term, "Symphysis") - or would have dropped out of use a long time ago - e.g. "Twyndyllyngs" - had they not be kept extant under artificail respiration by people who collect trivia.

IMHO of course.

And I am still wondering what the catch is.

Onomatopoeias

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... etc etc, that's a "trick answer"

Onomatopoeia is a word that imitates the sound it represents.
Also imitative harmony. Craven, your contribution is, as always, warmly welcomed.

NYMPHLY RHYTHMS

Such devices bring out the full flavor of words. Comparison and association are sometimes strengthened by syllables which imitate or reproduce the sounds they describe. When this occurs, it is called onomatopoeia (a Greek word meaning name-making "), for the sounds literally make the meaning in such words as "buzz," "crash," "whirr," "clang" "hiss," "purr," "squeak," "mumble,"
"hush," "boom."

Poe lets us hear the different kinds of sounds made by different types of bells in his famous poem "The Bells." His choice of the right word gives us the right sound when he speaks of "tinkling" sleigh bells; "clanging" fire bells; mellow "chiming" wedding bells; "tolling," "moaning," and "groaning" funeral bells.
Tennyson makes us feel the heaviness of a drowsy summer day by using a series of "in" sounds in the wonderfully weighted lines:
The moan of doves in immemorial elms,
And murmuring of innumerable bees.

"The rusty spigot, sputters, utters a splutter, spatters a smattering of drops, gashes wider; slash, splatters, scatters, spurts, finally stops sputtering and plash! gushes rushes splashes clear water dashes."

However IMHO they could be considered more onomatopoeic since they imitate the actual sounds.

Acronyms.

So good, so good, they mentioned the name twice times two.
Location, a local boat yard.

"Never a redneck, whose nerve creaked at the thought of a cracked veneer that required a deck to be re-veneered."

Any connection between any name and any persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental. :wink:

Try

Neat anagrams. A neat - if short - poetry lecture too. Very neat. (Gee, I wish I were smart like youse guys)