@glitterbag,
Hi, Glitterbag.
I keep running into knee trouble myself every now and then - well, even right now, I'm dealing with an issue - but I've never faced anything of the sort you described.
Perhaps, if you are trying to avoid surgery - and for good reason - it might help to get a second opinion, say, from a physical therapist or a sports medicine doctor. See what they say. If everyone concludes that surgery is the best remedy, you have no choice IMO. But I totally understand your reluctance to go under the knife.
Good luck and keep us posted!