and yes I have my appointment with the research trial Doctors on Tuesday I will ask them to go thru this book I posted since the first of the year ( virtual book hehe ).
They still clear as day though. Someone suggested it maybe a line somewhere in the complex system of the brain. That somehow two of the roads gets intercepted. That maybe how this disease occors. I am not a scientist and I dont know much more than what you watch in pbs about the brain. But it seems plausable to me.
I go by Pete. Wow I am honored to be your first followee I belive that feature is meant to be.......hmm like when youre looking for something to read and you say to yourself hmm. I wonder JTT is talking about lately. So its like an easy access button. At least thats what my conference room came up with And my memory comes in bits and pieces. Its one of the symptoms. I had conviced myself for many years that it was Gulf War Syndrome or something like that, But the more I learned about the disease, The more I understood why the memory loss happens. Think of a persons entire life as being files in a storage room. Ok now trow discutions about evreything as part as those files. It becomes a jumbled mess because the discutions sometimes put itself ahead in labbelling as importance. Then to top it off. You have to re anylized it. Eventualy you say "I dont realy want to walk in the storage room..... I have enough paperwork to deal with". And you just turn off the lights in there, And now evreytime you want to go back..... Its like you only have a flashlight to light your way....... Does that make sense? Well so when I post something it may have no cronological order or be related to the previos subject Well at least thats the way my conference room trew it on the table at me
Well if I just posted evrey topic that is going on in my conferences...... Well I believe I would put 'War and Peace' (the book, Im refering to the size of it) to shame. And I dont want anyone reading this to look at it as an Everest to clime, maybe just a bunch of hills would be a better way to look at it
maybe just a bunch of hills would be a better way to look at it
. Sounds like you been busy. Hmmm this one is hard to explain. I pretty much sit in front of this screen all day. If you read some of my other topics.... well I hope You can understand why a short car ride is terrifying to me now a days. This tuesday I have my docs appointment. Just like evreytime I have discutions on weather or not I should leave several hours early and just walk there..... Eventualy I came to my senses and just jump on a bus or bear the ride there with my mom. I leave this chair to go to the bathroom, water the plants on the balcony, or to go to the kitchen. The times I leave the house. Well Like I said in my other topic, arent many instances. Well ok maybe its the computer right? Well ok when the computer was down for a few months I set in front of the tv, Tv went down I just sit, now those were the most scarry delusional times for me. I got so bad my mom had to leave and spent some time with my Brother in Texas. All my family was Terrified of me, Even my brother (witch is a Proff of physchiatry in the university of Lubuck Texas and runs his own succefull practice). Called the police to ensure my mom was ok. To be fair to him he was not completly aware of my diagnosis and like I said. This 'jornal' is the first time im completly opening up to anyone. And I have not spoken to my brother since day I answered the door to greet a Broward Sheriff Officer at the door.......... let me post this and Ill continue in a minute
Ok I just wanted to put that out there let me reconpose myself. And Ill continue with what happened that day
Think of being in a important conferance. Or better yet you are in class in school and your midterms depends on a lecture a Proffessor is giving. ( in my mind thats how important these confereces that I have are). All of sudden someone starts talking to you.......... "what is wrong with you cant you see I am in the middle of something of the most extreme importance? ........ omg what what do you want that could be more important than this?" That is what happens when I am under a delusional state. Making me very edge. Now if you been reading this you know what jobs I had in my life. To have an edgy, irrational, mentaly ill person with my background. Well it must be scarry to anyone. Now dont yall get scared now I havent lost my marbles in a violent maner Well you can kind of understand by these statements how that day came to be? Later that day my mom grabbed the cat went and drove from florida to Texas. Its an extremly long drive for an elderly lady in her health condition. In my mind she was not returning. give a minute and Ill explained my frame of mind for the 30days that followed that event.
