There's a preposition- You need to socialise which implies I don't socialise. How does the speaker know that?
As a note, nowhere in your post do you say 'I do not need to socialise', nor 'I get out and socialise enough', so I do hope
this conversation isn't over it being accurate, but you wanting to deny its accuracy.
That said, on to your question:
-I become a book addict now,
- because books bring me fasincating knowledge and meanwhile make me its slave
- My to-be-read book list is as long as my arm. That is not supposed to be.
- I want to spend the upcoming next year on the books I most want to read in my life so far,
There's enough in there to cause many people some concern.
I don't agree everyone needs to socialise.
You talk about all the psychology books you are reading in order to understand yourself, and other people
. This means you must have a drive to socialise, or you wouldn't feel the desire to understand others.
Why then do you quote an infintesimally small % of people who arguably, did not need to socialise. There are always exceptions to any 'everyone' (have you looked up the Bell Curve yet?), but it achieves little to talk about the exceptions, because you would be qualifying everything you said. So let's just say that 99% of people need to socialise.
In which case, can you not see why CI's concern was phrased as it was?
I will note again, that nowhere have you said you socialise enough.
I don't mean to be condescending, and I appreciate people's concerns as you do if the concern doesn't sound like you need to do something or not do soemthing on the basis of prepositon or assumption.
I'm glad you don't mean to be condescending.
It appears though, that you missed the major point - that appreciation
isn't determined by the second
. It's determined by intent. And people seldom like their good intentions being dismissed out of hand.
And even if the intent were bad - I have never met a person, no matter the circumstances, and no matter what they had done, who likes being disrespected. In such cases, firmness with respect is possible.
I just seriously want to know how he knows what I need
Let me put it another way. If CI had said 'while reading all those books, don't forget to get out and socialise', would you still have objected?
The hangup on the word 'need' is misplaced. Need in English is not always used in the absolute.
You're in a public forum. People will use words loosely. They will make judgement calls, from the little information they have. You are likely to turn helpful people away if you jump down their throat for such things.
Another response you could have used was:
- 'Why do you say that?'. He may then have offered clarity to his thought; or
- Thanks. I get out plenty, I just like reading.