My wife left me for another man.............

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My name is Jack, I've been married for three years and have a daughter that is about to be 2. Those three years of marriage were good for me and many people said we were a wonderful couple and were really proud of us. We achieved many things together in our 3 years, I've come to realize that many of these things were material but it seemed to make her happy. Our sex was good for about 2 years and then it starting going down hill because she stopped wanting to have sex. I asked her why in a couple of occasions and all she told me was that she was tired, but this went on for a while. I started to believe that this happened to every marriage, and I couldn't notice anything wrong. About three months my wife left with the military to another state, we had a couple of fights over the phone about money (she wanted to spend a large amount of money and she wanted to open a separate account) I reacted wrong and got mad at her. She started not wanting to talk to me and not even calling her daughter to talk to. A month ago she told me, she thought she didn't love me anymore, I freaked out. I've tried to fix this for about a month now, she tells me she is confused and doesn't know what she wants but we already talked about a divorce in about a year from now. I found out she was at least talking dirty to someone else on her phone, via text message and i assume that she cheated already. Messages to the guys number back and forward like the whole day. I saw her once and all she showed was indifference, we have had sex but without "feelings" involved (I know I shouldn't). I know I should start my life on my side, but I'm big on family and I still love this girl. I'm concentrating on school and it's really hard, while I'm taking care of my child. Any advice on trying to fix this madness? Oh and she tells me she wasn't happy in our relationship but right before leaving, we were working on baby number 2!!!!!!!!!! Sad

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You are married to a female soldier in the US?

You have a HUGE support system - you must have an FRG (group of familiy members, all having spouses or close relatives that are in-service.) You can also get a referral to the chaplain, who has heard this story before, believe me. Get on the phone and get some help figuring this out.

She says she doesn't know what she wants. You can either wait for her to figure this out or demand that she make a decision about the marriage. It is unusual that she is distancing herself from her child.

Good luck; Life is short, buddy. Don't let yours be spent in a waiting room.

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@jack2000,

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Our sex was good for about 2 years and then it starting going down hill because she stopped wanting to have sex.

What that meant of course, was she stopped wanting to have sex with you. Most people in a marriage miss that wake up call, or don't know how to 'fix' it.

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I reacted wrong and got mad at her.

Why is it wrong to get mad at someone? Are you not entitled to human emotion? Did she get mad at you? If so, does she have any remorse? Or is this one sided remorse? If so, will you put up with that and still feel guilty?

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I've tried to fix this for about a month now, she tells me she is confused and doesn't know what she wants but we already talked about a divorce in about a year from now.

Well, it's not set in stone, but you have to realise many women 'don't like hurting anyone else', and so offer a sop, expecting the other person to still 'get the hint'. More than likely that's your wife, but not guaranteed. There must have been something she loved you for when you married her. Why don't you ask her what that was? And you should still see if she is willing to try counselling.

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I saw her once and all she showed was indifference, we have had sex but without "feelings" involved (I know I shouldn't).

See above.

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Oh and she tells me she wasn't happy in our relationship but right before leaving, we were working on baby number 2!!!!!!!!!!

Many girls think that a baby will solve their marital problems.

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I know I should start my life on my side, but I'm big on family and I still love this girl. I'm concentrating on school and it's really hard, while I'm taking care of my child.

What do you want from a relationship? (and I don't mean 'what do you want from her'). There's a hell of a lot of questions you can ask yourself - did you live in her world, or did she live in your world? Who made the decisions? Did she want a strong man, or a man who just did what she wanted? What did you contribute to the relationship? (the answer should be 'your unique individuality'). What did she contribute to the relationship? Was the relationship growing or dying? Why was it growing or dying? What did she love you for? What do you love her for? What did she not like you for? What did you not like her for? etc

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My wife left me for another man.............

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