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Thu 9 Dec, 2010 08:36 am
It had become our routine and it wasn't a good one.
Pete came through the door at about five o'clock each evening, right in the middle of my preparations for supper. Relief at the sound of his arrival washed over me. Our two young daughters were filthy from a day in our backyard sandbox and needed a good soak in the tub.
So Pete stopped in the kitchen just long enough to drop off his lunchbox, and I --never breaking my spatula's rhythm -- offered him my cheek for a kiss.
Then, up the stairs he trudged, our girls whirling around behind him, chattering happily. And I exhaled into my long moment of peace, with only my spatula to tend to.
Throughout supper, our damp, fresh-smelling daughters continued their chatter as Pete and I managed a word or two to each other in between, and perhaps a wink or a smile.
By bedtime (and by that I mean our bedtime) we were spent. Wed drop off to sleep, then wake the next day and do it all over again.
Our girls were happy and healthy, well-fed and shiny. But our marriage was
malnourished and dull.
I'd had enough of our dreary routine. I'd had enough of viewing Pete as my
backup, the other half of our two-person tag team. He was my partner in life and love, not just my partner in chores and child-rearing. It was time to do things differently, and I decided it would start with me.
One fateful day around five o'clock, when I heard the lovely sound of the frontdoor and footsteps, I let the spatula clatter into the pan of whatever-was-sizzling and turned to greet my husband.
Nothing I did was earth-shattering. I grinned, said hello, and opened my arms for a hug. But the earth must have moved for Pete because his face lit up in a wide smile, his eyes sparkling.
I'm not sure if I burned dinner that night, what with my diverted attention and
inactive spatula. I don't recall whether the girls got bathed or if they went to bed sandy.
I do know that Pete and I talked and laughed that night. I know that I felt younger, happier, and even prettier. I know (he told me) that Pete felt appreciated, even honored, because for those few moments he was my first priority.
And I know that for every evening since then that I have remembered my
resolution to drop that spatula, our marriage has been the better for it, and our daughters have, too. Sand and all.
It is really a good article, but what does the author imply at the end of this passage? It really baffles me. Any help shall be sincerly appreciated...
@Nancy88,
The author says that because she learned to devote some effort to the marriage, not just the family, not only is the marriage better, but the family is better also. Is there a specific part that you think is confusing?
@engineer,
I do understand the general meaning of this passage. What baffles me is the last sentence. 'Sand and all.' What's your interpretation of this sentence?
BTW, does it has any thing to do with sand in this context. Just the last sentence. Or can I just interpret this sentence as "our whole family life becomes better"?
@Nancy88,
Early in the article, the author talks about her daughters being covered in sand from the sandbox. What she is saying is that even though her daughters still come in covered in sand, there is an improvement in the family.
@engineer,
I posted that quickly and didn't fully convey my thoughts. The "sand and all" means that all the original irritants in life are still present. The author still has dirty daughters, dinner to cook, etc., but life is better because she takes a little time to focus on her relationship.