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A short paragraph to read.

 
 
Nancy88
 
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 11:58 pm
The sun emerges from the far east, shedding out ever-bright red light.
The great river surfaces the subterranean, casacading into the vast ocean.
The hidden Chinese dragon spring from the waters, waving its shinning scales and claws. The tiger cub roars in the valley, shivering numerous beasts. The fleding hawks and falcons flap their wings, blowing up vast waves of winds and dusts. Amazing flowers are fleshly blooming under grand auspicious colorful clounds. The newly sharpened sword is gleaming dazzingly. Both the heaven and the earth are shaking at the moment. Time is infinite and space is boundless. China shall embrace an infinite and bright future ahead.
Magnificent is youth China that shall live aglessly like the Holy Heaven!
Splendorous are China's youth whose development knows no boundary!
It is part of my translation of a Chinese text. Is there any defects can be remedied? Thank you. We just discuss the translation not politics.
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Ceili
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Dec, 2010 12:20 am
@Nancy88,
This is how I would edit, others are sure to disagree. But I hope this helps regardless.

Nancy88 wrote:

The sun emerges from the far east, radiating bright red light.
The great river surfaces from subterranea, casacading into the vast ocean.
The hidden Chinese dragon springs from the waters, displaying it's shinning scales and claws.
The tiger cub roars in the valley, causing beasts to shiver. Fledgling hawks and falcons flap their wings, blowing waves of wind and dust.
Amazing colorful flowers are freshly blooming under the grand auspicious clouds.
The newly sharpened swords dazzle and gleam.

Both the heaven and the earth are shaking at the moment. ??
Not sure what you mean here??

Time is infinite and space is boundless.
China will embrace or China embrace's an infinite and bright future ahead.
Magnificent is the youth of China that shall live eternally like the Holy Heaven!
How splendid is China's youth, whose development knows no bounds!

0 Replies
 
laughoutlood
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Dec, 2010 01:49 am
@Nancy88,
Quote:
A short paragraph to read.


How thoroughly enjoyable, it makes me want to go.
0 Replies
 
Miss L Toad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Dec, 2010 03:47 am
I see red lights from the very dawn of this stanza into the west.

Run the paragraph through a spell check.

Immerse yourself in English poetry and novels.
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