is this rape?

Forums: Rape
Email this Topic • Print this Page

hi,

ok, a while ago I was on holiday is portugal with some friends. One night I went out and got very very drunk. (as lads do on holiday) I was so drunk I can barely remember anything from the evening. However according to friends when I got home and went to sleep they brought a few girls back with them. The girls came into my room and woke me up. My friends have told me that she keep rubbing my chest and asking me to sleep with her and I kept saying no (again I cant remember anything). My friends also told me that they left me alone in the room with the girl. Now I still cant remember this but when I woke up the following morning all I could remember was her keep asking me for sex and trying to touch me sexually. And me keep saying no. However I can remember her telling me that I have cummed on her hand. Here comes the worst part. I have and had a girlfriend at the time. I have since been so traumitised and frightened of losing the girl I love. I have been for counselling, been on medication and my lifes been hell. I have not told my girlfriend because I am frightened of losing her. My question is this. was it rape, or am I in the wrong. Because I can honestly barely remember a thing and it is starting to ruin my life.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,770 • Replies: 38
Topic Closed

No top replies

View best answer, chosen by casual12

Yes, it's possible you were raped.

Molested, for sure.

But it sounds like it's your word against this woman's.

Don't be so hard on yourself. If you can see it as a learning experience, then you will 1) no longer drink so much you don't know what you are doing and 2) keep your body in self- control at all times.

PS I would not tell your girlfriend. She does not need this story to carry on her shoulders. That's your job - to process this and then let it go.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

thankyou for your reply, I dont want to tell her because its my word against hers. My friends have told me that at the end of the night I told her to F**K off and leave me alone. as she kept saying "please sleep with me" and as well as that I pleaded with my friend to sleep next to me as she would not leave me alone. I just cant stop feeling guilty because in order for me to have "cummed" I must have let her do it. But I was not in control. I know I'm not a cheat. I love my girlfriend more than anything. I cant help feeling I was sexually assualted against my will and massively taken advantage of. But proving that to my girlfriend would not be easy. thanks again

0 Replies

Dude, I doubt any of it happened - at all. I would bet dollars to donuts your 'friends' made the whole thing up.

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@Cycloptichorn,

I'm fairly sure thats not the case as I have very slight memories of me being very pissed off and wanting her to leave me alone!

2 Replies

@casual12,

but thankyou

0 Replies

@casual12,

casual12 wrote:

I'm fairly sure thats not the case as I have very slight memories of me being very pissed off and wanting her to leave me alone!

Well, THAT part I believe. The rest of it sounds fake. It's never been my experience that ladies act in this fashion.

If you don't know for sure what happened, and you know that you certainly didn't do anything bad - didn't act in your own free will - then for Christ' sake, just forget about it and move on!

Cycloptichorn

3 Replies

@Cycloptichorn,

thats what family keep telling me. and I guess its all I can do. your help is much appreciated

0 Replies

And it could have been just a nocturnal emmission.

- so don't worry about it.

- and watch what kind of "friends" you associate yourself with. Your buddy should have had your back if you were that messed up.

0 Replies

@casual12,

So long as your ARSE wasn't sore, you've nothing to worry about. Shocked

0 Replies

@casual12,

http://www.offthemarkcartoons.com/cartoons/1997-04-21.gif

0 Replies

@casual12,

http://www.offthemarkcartoons.com/cartoons/2007-05-12.gif

0 Replies

Yes, it absolutely was rape. I suggest you file charges immediately. If you

2 Replies

@mysteryman,

if you? what?

0 Replies

@mysteryman,

Quote:

If you.....

THAT is how Brian became the Messiah...he left them guessing.

0 Replies

@casual12,

I should have filed charges at the time. I wish I had. I was in a paraletic state. But If a girl continually trys to touch you despite you saying no and she continues to try and seduce you when your so drunk your not in control. If she touched me and despite me saying no I didn't get her off me thats still rape right? because I wasn't in control

1 Reply

Casual -
YOU did nothing wrong.

Keep telling yourself that.

YOU did nothing wrong.

If you feel that you can't let this go and want some kind of legal action, then you do have the option of filing charges. But I have to tell you, that will open up more hell for you than what you are feeling now.

Keep going to counseling.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

thanks Punkey

0 Replies

@casual12,

Uner the law, if you couldnt or didnt give consent, then what she did can be considered rape, or at least sexual assault.

1 Reply

@mysteryman,

that makes me feel better. thanks

1 Reply

is this rape?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know