Saint Peter's clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he entered the Pearly Gates, he was greeted by Saint Peter, whose office, he noted, was filled with clocks. The man asked what the clocks were for.

"Well, said Saint Peter, "these clocks are the historical record of all lies told by earthlings. Each time a person lies, the clock's minute hand spins around."

"Amazing," said the man, "I see one clock whose hands don't appear to have ever moved. Who is that clock for?"

"That clock belonged to Mother Teresa," said Saint Peter. Never moved once in her life."

Then Saint Peter pointed to another clock. "That is Abraham Lincoln's clock. It only moved twice."

The man asked, "Do you have a clock for President George W. Bush?"

"Sure do," said Saint Peter.

"Where is it, I don't see it?" asked the man.

"Oh, I keep it in my bedroom." said Saint Peter. "I use it for a ceiling fan."