Table manners for a 6 year old

@vinsan,

Quote:

Yes. I am an Indian but that does not make my point a rubbish. I also dont think table manners is a characteristic of the west. If the thread owner intended this topic for the people of the "West" then I should better take the exit now. I guess I have already wasted significant time.... of my own.

Please accept my apologies, as I was being glib and sarcastic....I am a vocal critic of the modern western practice of demanding that conversation conform to moral guidelines, the demand that personal opinion or truth that does not conform to the desired morality must remain unvoiced.

I have also had a bit of a run in with SPidergirl, who claims to be Indian. She has been claiming that Western standards of gender behaviour must apply to indian office workplaces, and I have been contending that there are broad differences between Indian culture and Western culture so maybe she is wrong. I take great interest in your views, as in the west those views would be greeted with hostility and name calling, and in my post to you was intending to draw out the contrast between your indian view and western views.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

There is no need to be apologetic hawky. Probably I got hooked to the "W" word.

I do understand that my post is not a great parenting tip. Also I do not think that we should threaten children to keep them disciplined. May be the terminology was wrong. I should have used the word, "Warning".

But I do think that warnings play a vital role in bringing good behaviors in children esp. among Indians. Scociety wise I find that Indians are less individualistic. More inclined to cultural and social traditions.

So considering a child an "Individual" is yet to sip into a typical Indian mentality.

0 Replies

Vin said

"So if "Western" society treats kids as mature people and think they are equally intelligent as a fully grown human , then I am sorry. I find it utterly foolish."

I totally agree. It irks me to no end when parents ASK their children's permission, ie.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"We're going, OK?"

and from a huge menu, "What do you want?"

Maybe I'm just getting old . . .

2 Replies

@PUNKEY,

There is a big difference between saying that children aren't mature yet and calling them 'stupid' as Vinsan originally did. 'Stupid' is derogatory. My son has a fairly severe intellectual disability but I would never call him stupid. And acknowledging that children aren't stupid doesn't imply that you give them inappropriate choices (eg Do you want to go to bed?) If you expect children to misbehave eg when they go through the so-called 'terrible twos' or as teenagers then it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I've found that if you treat them with respect and give them the boundaries and guidance appropriate to their age (and in my son's case ability) then they will rise to your expectations.
For what it's worth, my son has never been an embarrassment in restaurants because from when he was a baby he has only learnt one way to eat. It has nothing to do with intelligence or maturity.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

Vin said

"So if "Western" society treats kids as mature people and think they are equally intelligent as a fully grown human , then I am sorry. I find it utterly foolish."

I totally agree. It irks me to no end when parents ASK their children's permission, ie.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"We're going, OK?"

and from a huge menu, "What do you want?"

Maybe I'm just getting old . . .

PUNKEY seems to over-interpet things, even simple things. Noone says kids are equally intelligent as adults, nor has anyone here suggested that we should ask kids premission for anything, nor treat them like gods and kings.

0 Replies

@MonaLeeza,

Quote:

There is a big difference between saying that children aren't mature yet and calling them 'stupid' as Vinsan originally did. 'Stupid' is derogatory.

Yes. Apologies for another wrong term. I meant "less intelligent" than us.

Quote:

I've found that if you treat them with respect and give them the boundaries and guidance appropriate to their age (and in my son's case ability) then they will rise to your expectations.

This is where my views differ. We "decide" whats good / bad for kids. But "mannerisms" is never clearly understood by them. Just because we tell them " u r making a mess and irritating others so u shouldnt do it." would be treated as "why should I care?" attitude, in general.

Some kids get settled over warnings. Some need punishments. My example was the later case.

For overtly naughty kids, the effectiveness of punishments can reduce when we overpractise it. In such cases "reality checks" can do wonders. The incident was a "reality check" explaining what happens in "adult's world" when you perform an anti-social behavior.

If that hadnt worked for him, we knew we surely were in trouble!

1 Reply

@vinsan,

vinsan wrote:

We "decide" whats good / bad for kids. But "mannerisms" is never clearly understood by them. Just because we tell them " u r making a mess and irritating others so u shouldnt do it." would be treated as "why should I care?" attitude, in general.

I understand it is because of your cultural background, that you act like you do, which has been a norm for thousands of years. Culture is something that strikes deep in society and in the individual, it is the same as a religion which just can't be swayed away.

Where you may fail in understanding these new methods of child science, is seeing at western spoiled children, it is only very few westeners that has learned it, as there are no mandatory way of learning it.

0 Replies

Table manners for a 6 year old

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know