the end!

If this is a cry for help, and you are seriously considering suicide, please call a help line or someone you trust immediately.

It is not uncommon for someone to feel they cannot take any more, and I would never call suicide "the coward's way out." It is, however, the ultimate selfish act. Someone who commits suicide is not concerned with the physical, emotional, financial, legal or psychological mess they leave behind for others to deal with.

If you go through with it, you cannot imagine the pain your son will go through. He will never get over it. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. My father committed suicide.

Make that call.

Are you ill and in pain? If not, what's the problem? If you have money to get on a plane and go on a trip far away, call an airline and start packing. Do it now. If you have no money, borrow from a friend - hell, this is a friendly forum, we can always start a collection. Seriously

I couldn't say it any better than Eva.
Please, please, please get some help.

What are you fighting??? Is suicide selfish??? Yes; and a denial of self... People would likely not do it except for being able to conceive of themselves as living beyond their deaths, which is a crock.. You give that away with the question: Would he understand??? Really??? Do you think it will matter to you more dead than alive??? I am certain some one will care what you do; but the terrible thing is that most people will only be happy you are gone, and they won't have to share space with you and treat you with respect... It reminds me of a cartoon I saw once of a mouse caught in a trap, and another mouse asking: Do you mind if I take your stereo???

From my experience, fighting has nothing to do with dealing with depression.. Instead, deal with the symptoms, and work on the cure which may never be complete... Most of the time, reality sucks and people are mean, and then, some people are more self centered and troubled by pain other's push aside...I would not ask you to push your pain aside... I would tell you that pain is the price of life, and we all pay that price... I would ask you to bathe in that pain; to dive in and under it, and understand it, and accept it if you can... I will not tell you that your pain is not worse, for it may well be worse... Some times you never know what you can survive until you do survive and look back and say wow; that was too much... Keep the faith... We are all in this together, and it won't be any easier without you...