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Mon 2 Dec, 2002 04:42 am
Must read stuff.... please donot cpmplain for tummie-ache....
Only cricket lovers can understand this humour.....
Q. What's the difference between Nasser Hussain and Saddam Hussein?
A. Saddam Hussein has more victories.
Q. How dominant is Australia's No. 1 fast bowler?
A. Well, most people in England think their opening batsman's real name is Trescothick b McGrath.
Q. What would Mark Waugh be if he were an English batsmen?
A. In form.
Q. What's the outstanding feature of England's pace attack?
A. Andy Caddick's ears.
Q. What is England's best chance of a win in the third test at Perth?
A. Telling the Aussies the match is at the Adelaide.
Q. Heard about the new Ashes trophy?
A. Yes, if England lose another series they're going to keep the bails and
burn the players instead.
Q. How bad is the English batting?
A. Well, the selectors are thinking of moving Extras up the batting order.
Q. Why are the England players demanding increased match payments?
A. Someone has let on that Ashes Tests sometimes go to a fourth day.
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Andy Caddick put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his names?
A. A bowler.
Q. What was the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English team?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats
Q. What advantage do Nasser Hussain, Mark Ramprakash, Uzman Afzaal, Alex Tudor and Alan Mullally have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.
Q. Who spends the most time at the crease of anyone in the England cricket team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
Totally incomprehensible . . . must be great to beat them at their own game . . .
And what's the difference between the Aussie Cricket Team and Pixie Skase?
They'll be bringing the ashes home!
What's the difference between the end of a cricket match and sex?
I don't know, I've never seen the end of a cricket match.
(Are they called matches, kids?)
Interesting match this afternoon - England vs NSW - a one-dayer, in Sydney!
Unusual conditions. Fierce winds, bushfire smoke, but not too hot. This wind should make interesting with the spinners - no Shane Warne, but we have ....da-da...Stuart McGill!
How is an England-Oz cricket match like bad sex?
One party is usually done before the other is even interested.
PD
The Aussies are interested!
It's just thta we've got no-one to play with!
cannot they do an intrasquad thing -- y'know, play with themselves? not as messy as sticking it to a kiwi.
okay, i should go now...
Ashes indeed. The English team are in Sydney now - and we've got plenty of ashes.
Glenn McGrath was out on on Wednesday, on the roof of Steve Waugh's house, fighting the flames as they licked about. Steve was in Melbourne, and flew back in a hurry, and had started to jog past the road closures to his house, before a fire truck crew recognised him.
They say the players will go through fire for their captain.....
Margo, I thought my wife had been bitten by a black snake yesterday, turns out it was Aussie no. 2 getting out! I am somewhat glad to be at work today :wink:
Gautam, that is hilarious.
The English cricket team's display in the first one day final was more insulting than usual.
I have managed to secure tickets for India vs Australia during the World cup group matches....
Now that is something we can talk abt
Did we win those ashes thingies again? Yawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn.......
I'm on holidays during the world cup. I'll be watching that game live on TV. You'll have to try and wave to me.
he can carry a HUUUUUUUUGE banner saying "HELLO WILSO!"
15th Feb - In South Africa
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