8
   

Overly Competitive Coworker ... help!

 
 
dupre
 
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 03:39 pm
Hello, all!

I have a coworker who started a year ago exactly when I did. I have outperformed her. She's jealous. I think she is starting to gossip and rally others against me. I have had a one on one with her. I have praised her privately and publicly. I have tried to hide and to mitigate my success in order not to engender her ire.

My concern is this: We used to measured on key metrics, and my numbers rock. Now we are not. Now there is no way to measure anybody's contribution and success. This is dangerous. It leaves promotions open to whoever can ally themselves the best to coworkers and managers and not to whoever works the hardest. I don't give a rat's whatever about being promoted. I'm just there to do a job as best and ethically as possible. I've always made that clear, just to ward off any would-be attackers. But she's the alpha female type. And just this last week, with these new changes, there have been three or four times that she's tried to embarrass and belittle me. I think that she's feeling particularly insecure or she sees the non-key metrics environment as a way to move ahead without being particularly productive by pouncing on those who are.

She talks a lot. She's not often doing her job. She's tried to ingratiate herself into every possible activity. She's bossy. She's smart. She acts superior.

I just want her off my back and if need be, on to someone else's.

Ideas?



 
cicerone imposter
 
  3  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 03:47 pm
@dupre,
Why are you so hung up with what she does? You're wasting your time on energy that has nothing to do with your work performance or ratings.

Even if what you say is true, most supervisors see through bull **** like hers - but that's if you're reporting what has happened is true. I doubt it.
dupre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 03:52 pm
@cicerone imposter,
Hi, Cicerone Imposter.

Thanks for your response. You are right. I should just focus on my work and leave it alone. No I haven't reported it. I'm thinking I might, just to ward off any possible escalation on her part. Perhaps she'll settle down and stop.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 03:53 pm
I've worked with that and don't have an answer for you. I generally avoid people like that like the plague. I would just say as little as possible to her, not talk about her, and just keep your head down and do your job. I don't think if you engage her that there's any way that you will win - 'The squeaky wheel gets the oil' is often true so if she has reason to belittle you etc, people might listen. Therefore, stymy her. Just stay out of her way. People will eventually see what's what and judge her accordingly; it's just that sometimes it takes a while.

I worked with someone once who was much the same, only she had no reason to be jealous, other than her new boyfriend and I had been good friends for years. We worked together for a while and one night, at a company dinner, she sat there and zinged one-liner putdowns at me all night. I didn't respond once. I just let the silence grow and began eating again, so her comment was the last one in the air. I don't know what anyone really thought about all that, but remember, whatever comes out of her mouth is about HER, not YOU. Take some comfort in that - we are all our own walking advertisements.

Another co-worker did mention to me the next day that she looked really petty and everybody wondered what was up, but since I didn't respond, they just attributed the problem to her.

Funny thing - I'm getting married in 3 weeks and my friend is, of course, bringing her Smile
dupre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 03:55 pm
@Mame,
Thanks! Like it. Whatever comes out of her mouth is about her. I'd have a hard time avoiding her, but I can do my best not to engage or respond. Silence speaks volumes, right?

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! I'm so very happy for you!
0 Replies
 
dupre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 04:16 pm
Here's a cute video about competition in the workplace:

http://hypesuccess.com/?p=236

Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 04:43 pm
@dupre,
that was funny, thanks! lol
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Sep, 2010 05:56 pm
@dupre,
Now, that's funny! A small a2k group of us went to Second City to watch a show one of my visits to Chicago. Hilarious!
0 Replies
 
FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2010 10:46 am
What's the latest on your situation, dupre? Are things better?
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2010 12:13 pm
@dupre,
I missed this the first time around.

Do ya'll have the same manager? My advice is to go have a sit-down with your boss.
0 Replies
 
dupre
 
  2  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 11:33 am
@FreeDuck,
Hello. It's been so long since I've been here! Well, she got promoted and then she got fired. That was several years ago and she is still not working anywhere. I am still working in the same role, but have since received raises amounting to almost double what I was making back then. And, by the way, I did take the advice here and ignored it, was pleasant, and stayed focused on my job.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 11:55 am
@dupre,
What goes around comes around, right dupre? Wink
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 12:49 pm
@dupre,
Hey, dupre, good to see you.
0 Replies
 
dupre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 02:42 pm
@chai2,
I guess so and sometimes you just get to see that. I think, sometimes, my life in the city is so fast and I don't always get to see someone's story unfold. I get snippets and hardly ever a full perspective. I have to live on a kind of faith in what's simply right and kind of hope for good outcomes, or a sense of justice that supports my effort to be consistent and do the right thing. All in all, of course I wish her well. She is younger than me and I don't know her whole story and what made her that way. I wish her well and some growth. I know I've had my growth issues too over the years. And I probably annoyed someone else along the way.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 03:00 pm
@dupre,
Sounds like you are doing well, and I am glad to hear it.
dupre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Feb, 2015 04:37 pm
@roger,
Hi, Roger! I hope you are doing well, too. It's been so long...
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 10:36 pm
@dupre,
omg it's dupre! How have you been? It's been exactly five years since you were last here....good to see you back, dupre!
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Dispatches from the Startup Front - Discussion by jespah
Bullying Dominating Coworker - Question by blueskies
Co worker being caught looking at you - Question by lisa1471
Work Place Romance - Discussion by Dino12
Does your office do Christmas? - Discussion by tsarstepan
Question about this really rude girl at work? - Question by riverstyx0128
Does she like me? - Question by jct573
Does my coworker like me? - Question by riverstyx0128
Maintenance training - Question by apjones37643
Personal questions - Discussion by Angel23
Making friends/networking at work - Question by egrizzly
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Overly Competitive Coworker ... help!
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 05/23/2022 at 11:24:20