I hate that term "play date"

Agree. It's like nothing can have existance without being totally scheduled.

Let me check my calendar. Yes, tomorrow is good except I'm schedule to 'have fun' from six to seven pm.

Hmm, sorry, that doesn't work for me. soccer practice don't you know.

How does Thursday the 26th, from 1:15 to 2:45 sound for getting together to watch 2 back to back episodes of "Everyone Loves Raymond?" That will give us time to make a snack before hand, and a potty break before you leave.

Concerning "play date", maybe you are overthinking this one. If you are talking with friends about going out tonight and you arrive at a concensus plan, you might say "it's a date." I read it that way rather than as some overly planned event driven by adults. I do think that "play dates" reflect changes to our society where you don't primary hang out with your neighbors who all have families at home so you need to make plans to see friends who live all over town.

Little kids don't say to each other "let's make a play date"

It just sound so sad to me, having to arrange for an appointment to have a friend.

A play date IS an overly planned event driven by adults.

Kids would not have come up with such an idea.
It absolutely WAS adults who decided they needed to schedule their childrens leisure, AND came up with the name.

Believe it or not engineer, both parents did work a lot of the time back in "the olden days" and kids managed to see friends that didn't live on the next block.

That's what weekends were for.
You either rode your bike or walked, or if that was too far, you got you mom or dad to take 15 minutes to drive you WAY over there in the morning, and they, or your friends mom or dad, got you back home mid afternoon.

It was really not that complicated.

And no, I don't believe it has to be more complicated today.

God forbid the kid can't see every single person they might want to see. That would be terrible.

Why should it matter what other people choose to call something?

Nope. "Come over and play" might have worked when everybody lived in the same neighborhood, and everybody actually knew their neighbors, but it doesn't work very well today.

You don't control what the kids play. You just set up a time for the kids to get together.

Because of the connotation that we are so frigging uptight in this country, that we can't just go play at someone's house anymore without making arrangements.

Being a child is supposed to be a time of freedom, not an intership for adult life where we are forced at times to comply with time contraints.

When this this term "playdate" come up? Without investigating right now, I'm going to make a guess.

I think the original play date kids are the ones that today have to have some sort of stimulation every second of the day, be it through their hand held device, ipod, etc.
Oh sure, play dates are supposed to be about "down time" for kids. Another oxymoron if I ever heard one. The purpose of being a kid is that your entire life is down time. You're a KID for crying out loud.

I think the term is a sad, stupid, adult driven thing.
If I were a parent, I would absolutley refuse to use that term, or impose it on my kid. If they needed to get to a friends house, one that lived on the other side of town, and over a couple of busy highways. I'd drive them over there, and that'd be the end of it.

That's a connotation that you're reading into it. You don't really know how it works, so I'm not too dismayed at your disapproval.

Personally, I suspect that playdates became common about the same time that families started having two cars. Mom became more mobile, so the geographic boundaries of the social circle became larger.

That's a connotation a lot of people read into it, apparantly. So, I'm not dismayed at all at your disapproval.

It's your connotation that I don't know how something works, just because it goes counter to your ways.

The argument that I'm not a parent doesn't preclude me from understanding something that concerns children.

That is an ignorant supposition.

I've never liked that term, either, and am not really sure why. Maybe it sounds a bit contrived or a bit too kid-oriented, like it's such an important event that you need a term for it. Making more of the activity than it really is. In my day, we never got dropped off anywhere to play with kids because we lived where there were 1000 kids so we just ran over to their house, but even if we did have to get dropped off (which would never happen in a million years), we wouldn't have thought to call it anything other than going over to someone's house.

Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I think it's because we're living in a child-centred world and everything they do, say, think has become so all-important.

That's it mame.
It sounds contrived, and self important. Something for the parents to call it, so everyone knows they are doing this for their kids.

There weren't any kids were I lived, but I managed to get most places on my bike.
Contrary to popular belief, child abductions, accidents, etc. were not unknown in those ancient times.

Now that you've brought up your "come to think of it" Mame, I've just realized something...

A lot of people say how today is "a different world", where more dangers abound, and kids can't just roam free until the street lights came on. Like it is a point of pride to some people that they could go to bed at night and leave their front door unlocked. (which by the way is really moronic. What kind of person, specifically a father or mother, would leave a front door unlocked, especially when going to bed for the night. give me a break)

Honestly? The area where I grew up is a LOT more safe today than when I was a kid. Then, as now, the summer brought in a lot of weekenders from the city. Unidentifiable people who were there for the day and then were gone.
I wish I had a nickel for every time some grown man who was a fine upstanding citizen, and a great husband and father, got a couple too many cold ones in him on a hot day, and decided oogling adolescent girls was ok.
Last year I traveled up that way, and I could see a lot more safety measures in place. Which is a good thing, in itself, but, if there are more safety measure, shouldn't kids feel MORE free to move about at will?

I dunno, if you had half a brain, you just learned to keep away from stangers, don't fall for the "nice man with candy" crap, and made sure to glance behind you once in a while. You locked your front door, and, when you were finally old enough to drive, the first thing you did when you got in the car was lock the door.
Wasn't being paranoid, just realistic, and taking precautions.

Not saying that was this great thing, but at the time it didn't stand in the way of going about your kid business.

play dates....just sound so....wussy.

You wanted to go play with someone? Then go.
I did get driven to my friend Sharons house, because it was farther, and a more complicated, trip than I could make without my own car.

They go. They knock. Nobody's there.

Then what?

Phone first.

Otherwise, just come home or go to someone else's house.

Making arrangements is fine, just why does it have to have a name? lol That's all I am saying. But I guess everything's got to be called something - remember slumber parties? lol They were fun!

Right, we phone.

That's what the kids call a play date.

<shrug>

I definitely don't love the name but that's what it's called... if it can be changed to something else, cool.

They still have slumber parties!

Sleepovers or slumber parties.

Anyway the main point is that when I think of things changing from then to now it's not about safety -- I think things are about as safe if not safer. The main change is just whether someone is likely to be THERE when you get there. Back then: very likely. Now: not so much. (Parents working and kids in childcare, especially.)

Playdate is really a preschool age thing, in my opinion. I hated the whole ordeal as it usually meant you had to entertain the other parent too.

At 9, Mo wouldn't be caught dead using the term "playdate". Soooo uncool.

I swear his voice drops an octive when he calls his friends:

"Hey"
"Wanna come over?"
"Okay, bye."

A few minutes later someone lets themselves in the door yelling "my mom says I have to be home at X o'clock" so I can watch the time.

We're lucky in that we aren't overscheduled since I don't have to work. I doubt we could be so casual about it if I did.

It doesn't preclude you from understanding it, but your statements here make it clear that you don't understand it.

Two of my five favourite posters nailed it.